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crimson nails
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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crimson nails |
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crimsonXnails Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108dark/little/heavan.:*:. |
Please tell me what you thought this poem ment, i'm not sure i portraid my idea quite right. it was mostly the feelings i've been having these last couple months, srry it's so long, i had to make it into two poems. thanx fer reading! !Tracey! She stands in a grain feild where the clouds are low, and the water is high, drowning her rose bush, the only friend she has left. as the water rises she reaches for her flowers bending more with each drop of rain. the water, has almost submerged each stalk of wheat, while her roses stand just taller than the rest, gasping for that last breath of air. she pulles from the roots, but her plant holds firm, refusing to surrender their deep soil bed, they dug for themselves. she claws at the stalks to save her dying friend from the trap it is falling into. rewarded with thorns that defend it's tragity and stab the pulling fingers. she floats above them now tugging at the blossems, hoping the bush will let go. the water rises and she's holding herself under until the rose bush decides to break. her eyes are going dark but she clings to her friend, even after glass shatters in the back of her skull, and she releases her life. and a pettel falls off into her bleeding hand. it's too late for her, or her friend, the rose bush as she floats dead in the ocean, her grain feild has become, her single rose pettel disolves, and like a goast, seeps into each tiny cut given by the thorns. they twist into her blood red hand. if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying |
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| © Copyright 2008 Tracey - All Rights Reserved | |||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
hmm im trying to figure out what your poems messege (meaning) is. but i think i might have it... Maybe your feelings are like that water and you are the rose (or rose bush). and as your feelings begain to grow. you try to cling on to whats left of you (like the soil). And your problems or emotions grow so strong that you end up drownding in it.... idk if that what you had in mind when you were writing this but thats what i thought it ment. keep up the good work!!!! ~Zach~ |
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Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
i like it!!! |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Is the rose bush symbolic of one of your real friends? If so I have it. Its you trying to help a friend, who refuses to let go of the things in their life that are hurting them. You try so hard to save them but in the you are (or you will) draged down by them to die just as they do. Great poem! "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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