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forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

0 posted 2008-02-15 09:01 PM

______________________________
these lies of our generation
we cheat a few times and then do it again
bleed to live, live to bleed
you'll be fine, just smoke your weed.

seeing these things happen
makes you question...

this generation is being fed lies
drink every bottle down to feel alright
sleep with anything to keep your days going
just to wake up and leave in the morning.

and seeing it everyday
makes it seem ok

but this generation knows no truth
teen problems are just simple battles of youth
push it aside like its just a phase that'll soon be over
but next thing you know theres a gun and theres blood on the floor

how long will we keep lying to ourselves
will this generation ever be helped...?

--ok so im not sure how well this is written...i wrote it really fast, so ima keep working on it...

there's more to living than being alive

~Anberlin

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

1 posted 2008-02-16 01:09 AM

Well it does need a bit of work.
I loved the message behind it!
Definatly hone it down, work on the flow a bit, listen to someone better than me, do what they tell you, tell me to shut up,
I'll stop talking now.

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2008-02-16 12:12 PM

Your deffenently right this genaration is being fed lies. i agree strongly with this. i love this poem the flow is a bit off but the messege is pure and amamzing. Keep working on this one. but its still good even if you leave it the same.

~Zach~

"From the ashes, flowers will bloom
The empty void, fills the room"

ShawtySheFly
Member

since 2007-12-19

Posts 71
In his Elevator (LOL)

3 posted 2008-02-19 11:34 AM

i agree wit the poem it's kinda crazy ain't it but i disagree wit the flow haters LOL jk wat i mean is a poems flow can be absolutley ridiculous when it's thrown together but that's jus whatever. . . Cool job!!!!

A house of cards in a >hurricane^

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

4 posted 2008-02-20 10:23 PM

OMG Becca this wuz amazing!!!!! DEF. my fav from yooh... it wuz sooo... truthful i guess i cood sai... LOVED IT!!!!
Krysti

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