Teen Poetry #8 |
our generation |
forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
______________________________ these lies of our generation we cheat a few times and then do it again bleed to live, live to bleed you'll be fine, just smoke your weed. seeing these things happen makes you question... this generation is being fed lies drink every bottle down to feel alright sleep with anything to keep your days going just to wake up and leave in the morning. and seeing it everyday makes it seem ok but this generation knows no truth teen problems are just simple battles of youth push it aside like its just a phase that'll soon be over but next thing you know theres a gun and theres blood on the floor how long will we keep lying to ourselves will this generation ever be helped...? --ok so im not sure how well this is written...i wrote it really fast, so ima keep working on it... there's more to living than being alive |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Well it does need a bit of work. I loved the message behind it! Definatly hone it down, work on the flow a bit, listen to someone better than me, do what they tell you, tell me to shut up, I'll stop talking now. "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Your deffenently right this genaration is being fed lies. i agree strongly with this. i love this poem the flow is a bit off but the messege is pure and amamzing. Keep working on this one. but its still good even if you leave it the same. ~Zach~ |
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ShawtySheFly Member
since 2007-12-19
Posts 71In his Elevator (LOL) |
i agree wit the poem it's kinda crazy ain't it but i disagree wit the flow haters LOL jk wat i mean is a poems flow can be absolutley ridiculous when it's thrown together but that's jus whatever. . . Cool job!!!! A house of cards in a >hurricane^ |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
OMG Becca this wuz amazing!!!!! DEF. my fav from yooh... it wuz sooo... truthful i guess i cood sai... LOVED IT!!!! Krysti |
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