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hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

0 posted 2008-02-08 06:46 PM

you don't say sorry
you don't say bye
all you say
is i wish you would die

this pain i take in
i can't denie
makes me bleed inside

a blood of immortality
and shame
only time can heal this pain

but as i wait
i am parishing out of this place
and i fall on my face

I'm a disgrace

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2008-02-09 03:33 AM

aww! thats so sad! I understand what you are talking about here. Great job! hope to see more from you.

FoReVeR.BrOkEn

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2008-02-09 03:03 PM

JJ, lovely poem so much feeling and emotion.. do not ever feel like you are a disgrace cos no one ever iz there iz always someone who doesn't feel that way bout them someone out there loves you more than anything in the world!!!
I do not know if you encourge Critiques.. by i just wanted to point out that denie... iz actually spelled deny.. hope you dont mind!
hope to read more
Krysti

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

3 posted 2008-02-09 03:11 PM

thank you both, and i will try to be more positive... and for the critiques I dont mind at all. (i am a really bad speller) no joke

[This message has been edited by hiddensmiles (02-11-2008 07:28 PM).]

Gurl_unknown_11
Junior Member

since 2008-02-10

Posts 17
california

4 posted 2008-02-11 07:09 PM

THIS POEM IS REALLY AWESOME!!!I LOVE IT!!

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

5 posted 2008-02-11 07:16 PM

Great poem! I can't exactly empathize but I can sympathize. Keep going! Life can be very sweet. On the other hand it can suck. (By the way, anyone who can shape words like that is definatly not a complete disgrace!)

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

6 posted 2008-02-12 05:44 PM

thank you !! that means a lot!

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

7 posted 2008-02-29 12:24 PM

glad you enjoyed

Amic
Junior Member

since 2008-02-17

Posts 39
...I think Im lost again...

8 posted 2008-02-29 02:53 PM

Amazing!! Sad but its really good!

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

9 posted 2008-02-29 02:56 PM

your not a disgrace.. great poem!

~Zach~

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

10 posted 2008-03-29 12:06 PM

thank you

JJ

masksrlife
Member

since 2008-03-26

Posts 109
Canada

11 posted 2008-03-31 01:49 PM

JJ you are so not a descrace you are the best thing that has happend to me. Even if we do get into fights and my poems if they hurt you im sorry. But great poem. I really enjoyed it.

*crazycece*

rockangel_gv
Junior Member

since 2008-03-29

Posts 43

12 posted 2008-03-31 02:59 PM

Great poem, I really enjoyed

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

13 posted 2008-03-31 05:52 PM

I'd have to agree, your not a disgrace. great poem

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

Brian23
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 73
Belfast, Ireland

14 posted 2008-04-01 08:40 AM

Thats such a good poem albeit a sorrowful one

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

15 posted 2008-05-10 02:08 AM

thank you

JJ

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