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nostalgic*pride
Member

since 2006-08-23

Posts 122
NowhereVille

0 posted 2006-09-05 05:39 PM

You don't say it
But I know it's true
Suddenly I'm but a memory
An ancient time of you

And nobody wants to hurt me
They pretend that nothing's wrong
But even I can see I don't fit here
Somehow I don't belong

What happened to the days when
We could laugh until sunrise
And everything was perfect
But now all I see are empty lies

Holding on to the shards of glass
Reflecting distant parts of me
Before we drifted so far apart
Until it was only make-believe

Can you still see the day when
We had our first fight
Screams erupted for hours
And we both cried all night

Please don't leave me now
I'm already so alone
What am I going to do
If suddenly I can't go home

I don't say it
But we know it's true
Suddenly I'm but a memory
That was never a part of you

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2006-09-06 06:49 PM

Suddenly I'm but a memory
That was never a part of you

wow that is all i can say...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-09-07 09:12 AM

"Please don't leave me now
I'm already so alone
What am I going to do
If suddenly I can't go home

I don't say it
But we know it's true
Suddenly I'm but a memory
That was never a part of you"

Aww, such a sad poem! I mean the poem isn't sad but it's sad to read? It's a great poem but sad!!

So, not what I was hoping for, cause I wanted to read the sequal, but when I read this one I was just as happy.

You have an amazing way with words and getting your emotions across to the reader. I can't wait to read more of your work, you are deffinatly one of my favorite writers on here. Thanks for sharing

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

loveislove
Member

since 2006-06-25

Posts 59
USA

3 posted 2006-09-07 08:57 PM

Its all really good, the only thing i have a problem with (which is relatively miniscule) is the 3 stanza
"And Everything was perfect
But now all I see are empty lies"
I think it would sound alot better if you took out "But" i dont know why but it just seems out of place, other than that..good job

then theres the moment of silence, the eye of the storm, when the whole world collapses, i want to be in your arms

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