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William
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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William |
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513
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I can't wait for Cotillion to start So I can see your face again So I can whirl around the floor Laughing in your arms once more I can't wait for Cotillion to start So I can hear your voice Combine with mine To form a conversation That to me could only be devine I can't wait to see you stare at me Can't wait for you to see me staring back Can't wait for you to fulfill the things That my heart seems to lack [This message has been edited by pen&paper (09-09-2006 01:12 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Combine with mine So the form a cnversation" You might want to fix the spelling errors^^ Okay, so I like the poem but it's not really... Well, the title doesn't really fit, you don't really mention William anywhere in the poem. At least not specificly mentioning him, you allude to him, but without the title you wouldn't know there IS a William. So, I know it's quite a stupid little thing but I would change the title... No offence... "I can't wait for Cotillion to start So I can see your face again So I can whirl around the floor Laughing in your arms once more" I loved this part of the poem! The flow in it was amazing and using the Cotillion as part of the poem was really great to see... Thanks for sharing, it was an enjoyable read  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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