Teen Poetry #8 |
The Lock on Heaven's Gates |
Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
actaully the title!!! =) its about a friend ive been helping for about a year. shes obsessed with this guy who dosent like her back. it pretty much turned to obsession, and ive been having to take care of her this entire time. now he wont even talk to her, and shes not only hurt herself, but flipped the entire table over at lunch, screamed and ran away. shes not usually like this. shes acutally pretty normal. I even liked the guy but gave him up for her because i saw she liked him more... and today she yelled at me for simply talking to the guy i loved but gave up on to help her. anyhoo, his name is matt but she called him Gabriel so i wrote this. sorry for the long explantation and hope you like! ___________________________________________________ The Lock on Heaven's Gates You called the angel "Gabriel" clutched his memory tight but your love turned to obsession sending seraphs into flight I tried my best to help you to be your harp in hand but the more I tried the more you cried and the glass grew low on sand I tried my best to save you for every angel has it's sins and even you, an angel too were beautiful, within but as your heaven fell apart and sweet Gabe flew away your sadness turned to fits of rage ...still, for my angel I did pray all I ever wanted was to show you that I cared to sit with you and talk to you and tell you don't be scared but an angel is quite different when preoccupied with pain feathers replaced by fire common sense turned to disdain and thus you pushed myself away your buttress if you fell and now, without your conscience, Gabriel, or a story left to tell, be on the watch, angelic friend, it's a short distance to hell |
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© Copyright 2008 Jacqueline M. H. - All Rights Reserved | |||
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
oh wow, it was beautiful dear, it seems this forum is obbsessed with angels . . . just a thought (usually the angels are also rebellious . . . . lol) just some food for thought and an interesting insight. -Kate and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night |
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rebel~angel Member
since 2006-06-20
Posts 71Iowa USA |
well, as an angel myself...i can tell you that that was amazing! lol i really liked the way emotion just kinda...seeped through the words. Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming. |
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Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
wow... thanks everyone!!! im so happy you like it!!! =) |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
really this was very good and i liked it alot. its very deep and i think the emotion shows through. nice. |
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Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
thanks! im deciding whether or not to send it to my friend... right now ive decided to remove myself from the situation so she can see all ive done for her. not to sound self-important or anything but its true. |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Again Jaki brilliance. We are in total agreement and while I've never put it in these words (mine are alot harder to understand!) I've had those kind of thoughts in my head to! Anyway love the poem espeicialy this bit: and now, without your conscience, Gabriel, or a story left to tell, be on the watch, angelic friend, it's a short distance to hell Reminds me allot of my own musings. (I feel a poem coming on...I hope...kind of) I do believe that what your saying is the truth in many situations. It's amazing how close to darkness we are, even in the brightest light. Very deep; I'll leave a note if I post the poem that comes from this. "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl "Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl (Yes I am crazy) |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Wow I loved this you are a veerry talented writer Krysti |
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Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
THANK YOU ALLL!!!!! Im grinning with happiness!!!! |
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