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Teen Poetry #8

I sing today

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2006-10-03 03:21 AM

For an instance or two, we walked together,
Holding each other as if this would last forever,
Then the tide of time came and washed us away,
I have built a shore of hope for you to find me upon,
As long there is air in my lungs,
Songs of our love I shall sing.

I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality.

[This message has been edited by Xeonox (10-03-2006 09:38 AM).]

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-10-03 09:26 AM

"As long their is air in my lungs,
Songs of our love I shall sing."

This is very beautiful! Although, isn't it supposed to be "there" is air, or is that wrong? Hmm.. I think that's right...

I liked how you were able to keep the image of the sea/shore throughout the entire poem.

Thanks for sharing!

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->---

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

2 posted 2006-10-03 09:39 AM

Thanks. I had the correct their in the first place, but then I decided to change it for some unknown reason. I have fixed it now.
:-)

I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-10-04 12:22 PM

that was a very interesting poem i liked it...
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

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