How Terrible...i lilttle bit more added

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #8

How Terrible...i lilttle bit more added

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2007-12-26 01:36 PM

my word how terrible, terrible
these battles are over before there won
the time for talk is over
the time for words is done
these people show thier love
with the bullets in their guns

this is it, i feel so alone
and now im left with those little notes
the paper memeories that bend and fold

so hit me hard while im down
dont give me time to make a sound
just pummel me and make me scream
as we go another round

[This message has been edited by Clockwork_Orange (12-27-2007 03:30 PM).]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 2007-12-26 05:03 PM

"there" should be "they're".

Their and memories are misspelled. Apostrophe missing in "Im".

Aside from that, not sure I understand the meaning.

xbrokenxlullabyx
Junior Member

since 2007-12-25

Posts 36
NJ, U.S.A.

2 posted 2007-12-27 10:56 AM

what I took from this piece was a writer who was frustrated in the violence in the world and knew what he wanted to tell everyone but couldn't seem to find a way? If so you could finish the poem perhaps with understanding that sometimes there are some feels so strong you can't put them into words, because words can't hold so much [insert emotion]

maybe I'm wrong about the meaning thats jsut what i took. I love the first stanza

Susanna V.

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

3 posted 2008-01-05 06:16 PM

these people show thier love
with the bullets in their guns

wow, incredible line, nice to see you again, haven't seen ya in a little while.

-Kate

and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.