Teen Poetry #8 |
At the end.. |
fromme2U Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257 |
Why did I love you like I did? Why did I fill myself with empty illusions? I tried so many times to push away your love To tell myself it was just for fun Where did I go wrong where did it all go? I can kiss a million times the words I Love You But those words to you are scattered in the wind I look at your face and wish…just wish Even if I close my eyes a thousand times I can still feel you Through my weeping I can still hear you How did I suffocate if I was breathing your air? How did my dreams turn into nightmares? I fell down the hole of wonderland but there was no white rabbit to guide me I slept from the poison but there was no prince charming to wake me with a kiss I have no courage I can’t find a way Can’t even write you a darling poem All I know now is breath, eat, and sleep Weep and weep…. not so good at writing about love... [This message has been edited by fromme2U (12-18-2007 05:00 PM).] |
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wolf girl Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 150washington, US |
i loved it!! i can totally relate. :] awsome write |
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sexykitten15 Junior Member
since 2007-07-22
Posts 34 |
I really enjoyed this. I especially loved it when you through in the fairytales. |
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fromme2U Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257 |
Thanks girls |
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stil_watrs_run_deep Junior Member
since 2008-01-05
Posts 14missouri |
ya. i loved the imagery when you explained how you felt lost through the fairytales that is so common to everyone. Even if someone had never felt like that, they could relate. Amazing!! <3 smiles are universal :] |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
I liked most of it, however the last two lines for me didn't fit as well as I thought they would. And also I loved the two lines referenceing the fairytales but I thought that they were a bit long and each one could have been broken into two seperate lines. (I hope all that made sense) Good job though |
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wisdomofthesword Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224the last place on earth |
I really like it something thats stupid but works isn't stupid |
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