Teen Poetry #8 |
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Unpredictable happenings |
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*CaT* Junior Member
since 2007-12-07
Posts 46Oxford, England |
Unpredictable Happenings As they embrace Beneath the tree, No one watching Simply the breeze, But they didn't feel it Huddled close under that tree, And then it happened The sparks that flew off, As the lovers reached for a touch. The oak, leaves, Watched as they saw As two lonely strangers, Strangers no more Their hearts beating softly, Softly but warm, As the lovers drew breath On that cold winter morn. |
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hunnie_girl![]() ![]()
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Wow this was amazing Welcome to Passions hope you enjoy it heer ![]() Krysti |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Nice poem, better than my first post. (My first post? Wow! I feel so old!) Anyway, liked the way the words flowed, especially this verse: "As two lonely strangers, Strangers no more Their hearts beating softly, Softly but warm," And welcome to Passions! We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other. |
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hunnie_girl![]() ![]()
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
U feel old Wow, haha you ain't seen nothing yet.... how do u think I feel my first post iz in the archives haha ![]() Krysti |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Um... Which section would that be? (Teen poetry... Dark Poetry... Open... So many too choose from...) We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other. |
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*CaT* Junior Member
since 2007-12-07
Posts 46Oxford, England |
Thank you for your kind words. Wow, so how long have you been writing for? |
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Elias Nevermore Member
since 2007-11-03
Posts 152 |
hey great poem. i thoroughly enjoyed it. the connection between the two people could be felt by your words. Great flow, great rhyme scheme. i don't se anythig that yo would need to change. Welcome to Passions |
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*CaT* Junior Member
since 2007-12-07
Posts 46Oxford, England |
thanx so much Elias. i really enjoyed writing it, its good to hear that other people like it 2 |
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