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Teen Poetry #8
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BrittanyJ
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461
Come find me?

0 posted 2007-11-25 06:48 PM


Look into her eyes; you'll see her soul.
A part of her that's longing to be whole.
Broken in one too many pieces,
Her heart now seeks only release.
She's tried to secrete the ugly scars,
The ones that cover up her arms.
But hiding doesn't dull the pain,
And without help she holds the blame.
Now they all say she'll be okay,
That she'll find her way out someday.
And she knows it's all a lie,
Even so she says "i'm fine".
Look in her eyes; you'll  see her pain.
She carries as a token of her shame.
It's too late to save her now,
She has fallen too far down.
But look into her eyes, look in her soul;
Look in her heart, she is not whole.

It's a little rusty, so if you have any thoughts please share them Thanks.

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

© Copyright 2007 Brittany Johnson - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2007-11-25 07:04 PM


I liked this, it's very relatable...good job!
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal
2 posted 2007-11-25 11:18 PM



When you say your poem is rusty, you're right, in a way. The way I read your poem, some parts were sharp, while some parts were mellow, similar to a soul. To be blunt, I loved this piece.

We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other.
-Luciano De Creshenzo

An assassin-in-training shouldn't.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
3 posted 2007-12-10 03:59 PM


Enjoyed



ARCTIC WIND

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