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Teen Poetry #8
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Through the Exit Door
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Through the Exit Door |
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513
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I’m just your average over-caffeinated lunatic The one who belongs in a nut-house But wouldn’t be able to stay Because the insanity of the outside world Makes me so much happier Then the sane monotony Of clean white walls all around I live on overpriced coffee and undercooked pizza I thrive on the dance floor Always wanting a faster beat Than the DJ’s going to give me And this makes me sort of sad… I can’t wait for the weekend to end So I can see my friends again They’re just your average under-caffeinated lunatics The ones who belong in a nut-house With me But we wouldn’t be able to stay Because we would cause complete and total mayhem Bringing the outside world in And they’d have to chuck us out Because we’d paint their sane monotonous clean white walls Purple, green, blue, yellow, red, and black Leave the white for the insanity of the outside world And we’ll be happy to take it with us When we leave these sane, monotonous, clean white walls For the real nut-house That’s through the exit door [This message has been edited by pen&paper (11-20-2007 08:16 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Haha! I loved this! Your piece had a nice, consistent rythym, and it was full of wit. I'm not quite sure, but I think it was meant to have a serious tone. Correct me if I'm wrong. Loved this: "I live on overpriced coffee and undercooked pizza" And this: "Always wanting a faster beat" Nice job! -Andrew P.S. I didn't really laugh, only on the inside. An assassin must keep a tight reign on his emotions. JK We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly by embracing each other. |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
alright alraight- this was inspired right here For the real nut-house That’s through the exit door i was kinda "ehhhish" until i read the end, that totally made the whole poem- brava! -Kate
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513 |
Thanks ya'll! |
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513 |
Ya know, Assassin, I'm not entirely sure if it was supposed to be serious or not. Perhaps serious in a more ironic way...? Thanks for the review. Appreciate it. Rerra Leigh ¢¾ |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed  ARCTIC WIND |
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pencil&paper Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76asleep somewhere in my head |
LOVED IT i always knew i was an under-caffeinated lunatic although occasionally i become over-caffeinated  my favorite part was: They’re just your average under-caffeinated lunatics The ones who belong in a nut-house With me But we wouldn’t be able to stay Because we would cause complete and total mayhem Bringing the outside world in And they’d have to chuck us out Because we’d paint their sane monotonous clean white walls Purple, green, blue, yellow, red, and black Leave the white for the insanity of the outside world And we’ll be happy to take it with us When we leave these sane, monotonous, clean white walls For the real nut-house That’s through the exit door "Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet |
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