Victim to the Night - pipTalk Forums

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pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

0 posted 2007-11-23 01:30 PM

I lay dying in the dark
Waiting for sweet salvation
That might never come
Holding on to each breath
As though it’s my last
Fearful that it actually may be

My eyes once shining
Hold naught but fear
As they watch the darkness coming near
I beg it to stop
Halt! Retreat!
But darkness is deaf
To all but the terror resounding in my heart

My soul seems cold
As though made of ice
Or left out in the cold, and bleak December night
I will myself courage
To stand and ready fight!
But bravery fails
As I fall victim to the night

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

1 posted 2007-11-23 01:36 PM

dang.....thats tight....i loved the ending! it gave me chills ..this would b great in dark poetry...n e ways great job!

If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you"

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

2 posted 2007-11-23 06:27 PM

beautiful beautiful beautiful

loved this line "But darkness is deaf"
poetry . . . . i loved this piece- library Rerra, in my library

-Kate

"I have no other but a woman's reason:
I think him so, because I think him so."

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

3 posted 2007-11-24 05:18 PM

"I will myself courage
To stand and ready fight!
But bravery fails
As I fall victim to the night"

Wow, as said before, the ending gave me chills. lol, i really liked this

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

4 posted 2007-11-28 09:58 AM

oh my what a great poem it just captures you and reels you in. my favourite lines are the last 4 or 5 they are the best part it just is an amazing thing to read, well done

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

5 posted 2007-11-28 11:23 PM

Wow. I don’t know what to say, it was such an amazing write and I agree with the others, it definitely gave me chills. Thanks for sharing

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2007-12-10 10:10 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

pencil&paper
Member

since 2006-09-09

Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head

7 posted 2007-12-17 02:24 AM

its a good poem but i really like the last line theres just something about it that i really like

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet

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