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Teen Poetry #8

More Than Her

Alaina
Member

since 2007-06-16

Posts 106

0 posted 2007-12-16 07:58 PM

And all the world
Is at a loss for words
As you dance around my mind,
I make everyone stop and turn

The eyes of a girl in love
Will catch you like a spiderweb
Don't tell me what you think,
Unless it is about me

Don't leave me in your trail of fury
Unless you can pick up the pieces
When the eyes loose their shine
They won't blind your mind

I'll numb every tension,
Stop every tinge of regret,
Leave you with your jaw dropped,
And begging for more

I'll make you never forget me,
My eyes burning holes in your memory,
If you, please, would just tell me:
I love you more than i could ever love her

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

wolf girl
Member

since 2007-12-03

Posts 150
washington, US

1 posted 2007-12-16 08:56 PM

i like it alot. the ending really caught my attention. its really good great job.

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

2 posted 2007-12-17 02:45 AM

wow, i really loved reading this, it had a really cheeky feel about it, and im with wolfgirl, i loved the ending!!

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

3 posted 2007-12-17 06:51 PM

I really enjoyed it. nice writing

Alaina
Member

since 2007-06-16

Posts 106

4 posted 2007-12-17 07:14 PM

thanks guys

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

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