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Teen Poetry #8

Gasping for Air

Elias Nevermore
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 152

0 posted 2007-11-19 12:43 PM

GASPING FOR AIR
STRUGGLING TO BREATH
SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME

I'm under the pressures of this world
Burdens are weighing down on my shoulders
I'm drowning in this ocean called life
Someone bring me back to the surface.

GASPING FOR AIR
STRUGGLING TO BREATH
I SINK ENDLESSLY TO THE DEEP

Darkness is continuing to obscure my sight
I look for some outreached hand of help
But, all I feel is the cold water running
down my throat into my choking lungs.

GASPING FOR AIR
STRUGGLING TO BREATH
THIS IS MY FINAL WORDTO THEE

I cast my final goodbyes to those i knew.
They failed to hear my calls, as did you.
The water has consumed me entirely
And now I sink into the depths of darkness,
wondering how my life could have gone so wrong.

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

1 posted 2007-11-19 11:09 AM

man i really like this poem its good by the way im new here

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

2 posted 2007-11-21 08:50 AM

wow it was soo intense but i did find that the non capslocked stanzas didn't flow as nicely as the others but it was still a great poem

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

3 posted 2007-11-21 07:14 PM

"And now I sink into the depths of darkness,
wondering how my life could have gone so wrong."

Ah, this was a wonderful poem

I enjoyed reading this, and i know how you're feeling. If you ever need to talk, i'm here.

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

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