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Teen Poetry #8
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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2007-11-15 05:05 AM


sitting here in a tempest,
im living in the eye.
all the debris is around me,
feels as though im only living just to die.

they always say,
right before you die.
the sky breaks open,
and you see the light.

am i broken?
i cant feel my head.
am i still breathing?
i think im dead.

because thats all i think i am,
a dead and hollow shell.
a withered and twisted soul,
who created his own hell.

but i havnt seen
a single thing,
exept a tempest,
of hate and pain.

wheres my light,
wheres my sky?
is it the honest truth,
am i living to die?

i am real, because i dont think im alive.
i must be numb, as i reach out for the dive.
am i real?
or am i just living a lie?

the winds blow so hard and fast,
its even hard to breath.
but it was me i guess, that got me in this mess.
and now it seems that the worlds fell on me.

tempest winds,
come blow me away.
please make it hard to breath,
and take away everything;
that made me believe.

[This message has been edited by Clockwork_Orange (11-15-2007 07:46 PM).]

© Copyright 2007 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
1 posted 2007-11-15 07:45 AM


"who created his own hell"

I've missed seeing your words around here, i'm glad to see that you are back. my favorite line is above. it reminded me of one of my poems. i liked this.

-Kate


"I have no other but a woman's reason:
I think him so, because I think him so."

BrittanyJ
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461
Come find me?
2 posted 2007-11-15 06:10 PM


I really liked this. Especially how you used a storm to portray it. A very nice write.

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
3 posted 2007-11-16 01:43 AM


wow this was amazing CO wow it was one of my favorites from you..
Krysti

Shake
Junior Member
since 2006-11-17
Posts 40

4 posted 2007-11-17 10:39 AM


This was pretty good. The rhymes and vocab were simple, and the flow of it was a bit off, but overall it was a nice and easy read!

7/10

Gods and Demons,
Keys, Lyrics, and Vocals
~Shake

rebel~angel
Member
since 2006-06-20
Posts 71
Iowa USA
5 posted 2007-11-17 10:47 AM


i love this!!  i really love the way you use your words...

Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming.
-Elizabeth Haydon, Requiem for the Sun

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
6 posted 2007-11-18 10:46 AM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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