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Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

0 posted 2007-11-08 09:12 PM

I can't sing, but these are the lyrics to a song I've been working on. I have the first verse, a shaky chorus, and the first part of the second verse. This actually started out as a poem, but one of my friends suggested that I make a song out of it.

Daylight, save me
from this nightmare
that I call my
life.

Alone I, face these
troubles that I
conjured on my
own.

Each and every
step I take
draws me to the
truth.

And now I now that
ever battle
can't be conquered
alone.

(Chorus)
So please be
the dawn to my day.
Lead me and
light up my way.
No matter
what they may say,
I need you!
So why don't you stay-
with me?

Your love woke me
from this daydream
that I chose to
live.

Awakened from this
life of lies

And that's where I'm stuck. Any suggestions?

As assassin shouldn't fall in love.
-The lovestruck assassin

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

1 posted 2007-11-08 09:22 PM

love it, but sorry i can't be of help here, i'm not very good with the whole add on to a song thing, i never seem to finish my own either . . .ummmmm i shall ponder on that . . .

-Kate

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2007-11-08 11:28 PM

i liked the chorus. writing lyrics are one of the most difficult things I have ever faced. (I'm the lead songwriter in my band and it's tough!) i think there was just enough balance of creativity and catchiness. I dunno, lyrics are tough.

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

3 posted 2007-11-09 01:22 PM

oh i get the lyrics alright, it the music that i never finish, lyrics are easy, just adding on to yours is hard, i don't know what your looking for, and my stlye of writing is so radicallly different, i woun't want to intercede.

-Kate

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

4 posted 2007-11-09 09:10 PM

To Kate: If you don't currently have any suggestions, don't worry about it! It's all good. But I would really appreciate your thoughts on the lyrics. The song is meant to be a love/christian song, and I hope to finish it one of these days.

To young_blood: Um... What's the name of your band? And do you have any of your songs on a site? I would love to hear your music!

As assassin shouldn't fall in love.
-The lovestruck assassin

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

5 posted 2007-11-10 08:04 PM

Here i finally got my writers block gone and i came up with a little something for you, you can use it abuse it, renew it confuse it, but here is a rough idea, take it and run with it or throw it away, i won't be offened.

-Kate

Daylight, save me
from this nightmare
that I call my
life.

Alone I, face these
troubles that I
conjured on my
own.

Each and every
step I take
draws me to the
truth.

And now I now that
ever battle
can't be conquered
alone.

(Chorus)
So please be
the dawn to my day.
Lead me and
light up my way.
No matter
what they may say,
I need you!
So why don't you stay-
with me?

Your love woke me
from this daydream
that I chose to
live.

Awakened from this
life of lies
That I have spun
Myself

I need you
Trust me
Baby come back here
Don’t just walk away

Chorus

Daylight, save me
from this nightmare
that I call my
life.

Daylight save me
Save me
From this
life

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2007-11-12 10:16 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

7 posted 2007-11-13 01:01 PM

my band is called TheOtherEndofNowhere. We don't really have a website. I suppose I should get a myspace and post some of the stuff. I'll let you know if I do.

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

8 posted 2007-11-13 03:45 PM

Your love woke me
from this daydream
that I chose to
live.

Awakened from this
life of lies
I no longer want to reminisce
Take me daylight to another place
Hand in hand you can set me free
No one or nothing can take this from me!

(Chorus)
So please be
the dawn to my day.
Lead me and
light up my way.
No matter
what they may say,
I need you!
So why don't you stay-
with me?

You presence is felt hear on my skin
Daydreams are long conjuring up what has been sleeping in me
Undo the web of a crazy scheme
Show me the path, but take my hand so I won’t get lost
Shine your guiding light
To leave all these lies
A nightmare which they have been

(Chorus)
So please be
the dawn to my day.
Please, please light up the way!

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

9 posted 2007-11-14 04:43 PM

so, decent suggestions by everyone it looks like. i got the link to my music stuff working. its just a small taste of what i do. www.purevolume.com/aprilsfalling

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