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Teen Poetry #8
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Put Out The Light
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Put Out The Light |
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NCCXC86 Junior Member
since 2006-09-25
Posts 18Michigan |
Wake up all alone Head like a stone On my pillow Wash down a few pills Prescribed to cure my ills Give my life control The phone sits by the bed Thoughts race in my head No, I won't call Your life became a dream Once I was left to scream Your bitter memory Where now do I go? This bitter pain I know On this rainy Monday Where now do I go? Glance down to the streets Crawl back under my sheets Let more dreams take away my pain Put out the light Unplug this agony and fright The cold day will chill my heart Put out the light... Put out the light... I can't face the world yet |
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| © Copyright 2006 Francis M. Martin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brittany Junior Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 32Canada |
I really like this poem, I can relate to that feeling and you capture it perfectly. I like the short lines, you get right to the point. I cant think of anything I would change, it's really good. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
The first part seemed like it was coming from somewhere different then the second part, almost like two different thoughts. Might want to look over that. I also liked the short lines, they are nice, and simple and not really confusing. |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
OMG!! i loved this poem it was so well written and it had a nice flow i can't think of anything i'd like to change. wow i'm gonna add this to my library can't wait to read more soon... hunnie*  A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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