The Cold Winter Chill - pipTalk Forums

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NCCXC86
Junior Member

since 2006-09-25

Posts 18
Michigan

0 posted 2006-09-27 12:05 PM

The cold winter chill brings a shiver to the soul.
In this, the winter of my year, as well as the winter of my life.
The flowers died, the birds left, the sun is scarce.
I sit here with my notebook, patiently waiting
For the sun to rise, the air to warm, to feel the soft beat of life again.

I brought this winter upon myself.
It’s for all that I have hurt, destroyed, and burned.
Because of who I am, I drove you away.
The life left me and the snow began to fall,
Heavy, deep, dark, and cold.

I fooled myself and I fooled those around me
Into believing that I was fine and that I was strong
But the cold winter chill brings reminders -
Reminders of you: your beauty, feel, smell, and taste:
Reminders of a love that continues to burn like a torch in the night.

I do not ask for forgiveness for what I have done.
I do not ask for understanding for that which
Even I do not quite understand.
And if I do not deserve to be spoken to anymore,
I will accept my sentence of exile without any complaint.

I’ve been sliding around wildly on ice,
Reaching for the silhouettes and cutouts of my former life,
Finding nothing but you, and you are who I aim for.
In this darkness, that encroaches from all directions,
You are still the light of my life, the force that keeps me going.

I have already apologised for my mistakes,
Although they have still been made and I must pay the consequences.
I lost your love and it was the worst day of my life.
My mind, heart, body, and soul:
All were shook to their foundations by the cold winter chill.

When I was with you I gave it all:
My time, my attention, my devotion, my care,
And, most importantly, my whole heart.
Never have I loved someone as much as I love you.
The heart has been shattered and I have yet to find all the pieces.

I do not know the definition of love, and I assume it has eluded you as well.
It has eluded poets and song writers since the beginning of time.
It is a gut feeling that I have, not a conscious emotion.
How can there only be one word to explain such a deep and complex passion?
I myself have but one single way to describe love.

Love is when I look into your eyes and my heart grows wings.
Love is when you laugh, and I hear a spectacular symphony of sound.
Love is when your beauty, like a diamond in the rough, makes me gasp.
Love is when I lie beside you and know that I am real - that this is as good as life gets.
You, are what love is to me, for me, and what it may always be.

This feeling, this “love,” was so perfect, so euphoric.
Never did I feel more alive than I did when I held you in my arms.
To get that feeling back, I would work through any adversity this world could throw at me.
It was a dream-come-true, a dream that had kept me strong for years.
And now, because of who I am, I sit and stare with growing incredulity as my dream becomes a nightmare.

For you I would bring the moon and the stars.
I would do anything that your heart desired, without question.
But the cold winter chill has sent you running inside for cover,
Running inside and locking the door,
While I stand here in the cold, wondering what went wrong.

I am left with nothing but memories to protect me from the chill.
That and the bitterness and hatred towards what I have become in your absence.
Despite every laugh, every smile, every joke, I am only half the man I used to be.
Burdens, especially those such as yours, are lighter when carried by two,
But from your rehearsed and cautious distance, it appears that I will be on my own for awhile.

I keep a torch of hope burning bright, that you will soon open your eyes and see.
I can and will go to lengths for you that no other man would dream of.
There was, at one time, something called “us,” and I do not believe it is dead forever.
Despite every effort, every will to move on, I find your name tattooed on my heart.
My heart, I know, will always be a safe haven for you, where you can escape the harsh winter.

All of my hopes, my dreams, my wishes for you may all be in vain.
I have failed you once, and it is testing the limits to ask you for another chance.
I am but one man, but for you I would wait a million years.
Alas, if is not me you want, if I am no longer worthy of this gift that is your love,
Then I will walk out into the snowy night, feeling nothing but the sting of the cold winter chill.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2006-09-27 08:30 AM

Frank~
Welcome to PiP~

Quite the emote you've penned for sharing~

Enjoy this circle of poetic friendships~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - [email protected]

Brittany
Junior Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 32
Canada

2 posted 2006-09-27 02:41 PM

Wow

First of all let me say that if any guy wrote something like that for me I would find it very hard to walk away.

I really really liked it, you give the reader a complete sense of what you're feeling, and the comparison to winter is a really good one. It was awesome.

~Life Ain't Always Beautiful~

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

3 posted 2006-09-27 05:04 PM

Welcome to PIP!!!!

Been a long time in this forum, since I have seen this clear of imagery, very good. I could paint the picture in my mind. Thank You.

NIce comparison to Winter, little vague in some parts , but overall good idea.

This was a little long, I like long poems, but this got to be kind of redundant, towards the end you may be able to cut it off. In some part it felt as if you were repeating it in different words just a little bit. Great emotion.

reminders of you: your beauty, feel, smell, and taste:

good line.

but what does her beauty look like, how does she feel, what is the smell, what does it taste like.

Show us, in more imagery. In that line the imagery was semi lacking. The rest of the poem had very good imagery.

Shorten it a bit, figure out what you really mean to say, check where its not showing, especially in that one line.

With some work, this could be a very good poem.

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

4 posted 2006-09-27 08:45 PM

Welcome to Passions!!!!!!

I brought this winter upon myself.
It’s for all that I have hurt, destroyed, and burned.
Because of who I am, I drove you away.
The life left me and the snow began to fall,
Heavy, deep, dark, and cold.

This is absolutely amazing. Giving this kind of imagery while accepting responsibility and not being bitter about it is defiantely top shelf writing. I will definately be looking for more from you.

Check your e-mail for a special greeting.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2006-09-27 10:29 PM

WOAH!!! that was a very emotional write and i love your use of vocabulary definatly not lacking big words:P it was a little long but nevertheless still good. good reference to winter. and i agree with Brittany i would find it hard to walk away too...

good post i hope to read more by you soon... oh and WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

good first post...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

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