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Teen Poetry #8
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A Smile Could....
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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A Smile Could.... |
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powerxxx Junior Member
since 2006-09-21
Posts 17 |
pieces are falling i can't seem to make them stay wings shatter and i just sit here as if it doen't matter there's something changing in me something growning inside of me i swear i don't want this i swear i don't need this hate hate and hate gives me nothing but anger and misjudgment my thoughts turn around me saying where was love where was care in my time of need noone there nothing anywhere things that were bad turned in time to the worse sitting here i lost all hope i lost everything i ever hoped for but as i was about to stand up with my sad face i saw someone smile to me and ask me if something was wrong if i was okay due this surprise i stood still not even a word came out of my mouth it was the first time anybody asked me that she was the first to do so she was the first to care about me it was her who changed me it was her smile which kept me going i never thought a smile could make me happy i never thought a smile could give me hope i never thought a smile could be so warm a smile that belongs to her a smile that could change the world |
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| © Copyright 2006 powerxxx - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nick_lyss Member
since 2006-08-21
Posts 88 |
its a powerful poem.this one is my favorite |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
It could use puntuation . Powerful, but in places its a little redundant. The ending was the best, it was together and good. The rest of it could use some work though. |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
in my time of need noone there nothing anywhere i liked this stanza the best it seemed to flow well. Overall i thought this was a really good poem. good post...hope to read more... hunnie*  A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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