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dah1namedj0na
Junior Member

since 2007-08-19

Posts 19

0 posted 2007-08-19 10:00 PM

It's just a sonnet i wrote when thinking about my best friend

Your essence aura encompasse me
You are the water that fills up my pool
My thoughts of you run eternally
People want diamonds, but you are my jewel
Your smile resembles a dancing sun
Illuminating all that’s in your way
You can make all evil become undone
More than a flower, you’re a bouquet
There is a moonlight shadow in your eyes
Radiating all that is time and space
And with a shattered heart that always cries
You nurture others with you sweet embrace
If ever a chance that your heart doth break
Always remember I’m here for your sake

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

1 posted 2007-08-20 06:02 PM

"And with a shattered heart that always cries
You nurture others with you sweet embrace"

I really liked this. It had a lot of emotion

Nicely done, can't wait to read more.

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

dah1namedj0na
Junior Member

since 2007-08-19

Posts 19

2 posted 2007-08-20 06:30 PM

hahah, thank you a lot brittany! i wrote this poem a while ago, and i wanted to get people's opinions on it. I'm a mushy person though xD

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-08-21 01:25 PM

Welcome to Passions...I liked this poem sonnets are a great type.(and you can never be too mushy)I look forward to reading more of your poetry and your responses

(Please check your e-mail for a special greeting)
Krysti

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

4 posted 2007-08-21 03:40 PM

oh my gosh...I LOVED this!!!! It's so pretty. Just made my heart melt. So wonderful. Going in my library!
Welcome to piptalk!

Rerra

dah1namedj0na
Junior Member

since 2007-08-19

Posts 19

5 posted 2007-08-21 04:09 PM

oh ty guys haha xD yeah, it still amazes me i wrote it in 23 minutes o.0 i had to do it for HW but forgot so i just thought about my Best friend xD

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

6 posted 2007-08-23 09:36 PM

i liked it alot. i thought that the bouquet thing was kinda cool/clever so good job

dah1namedj0na
Junior Member

since 2007-08-19

Posts 19

7 posted 2007-08-24 03:22 PM

ty a lot clockwork xD

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