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Teen Poetry #8
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he walks away
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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he walks away |
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Rainbowrose Junior Member
since 2007-08-11
Posts 11 |
my love for you will never part even tho my haert is in two and i fill the pane as we part,never more-never more i hear as my haert brakes in two my love is shaterd as he walks away ,no this can not be he's gone but so is my love & my hart aaaa...noooo!!... |
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| © Copyright 2007 Rainbowrose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513 |
I thought the content was good but I also think you ought to check your spelling and maybe separate your thoughts into lines and stanzas. I enjoyed this, though. Good job! Rerra P.S. Something like this is what I was suggesting. (My love for you will never part Even though my heart Is in two and I Feel the pain as we part, "Never more-never more..." I hear as my heart breaks in two My love is shattered as he walks away No this can not be! He's gone but so is my love and my heart... Ah, no!) |
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