Teen Poetry #8 |
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my world just went black |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN ![]() |
i can see you when i close my eyes. you cant seem to leave my mind, as i fall down in pain. and the smile just ages, then it twists and cracks. that once friendly face, i just wish it would come back. i want to be able to tell you, when your hair looks a mess. and i wish i could kiss you, every time you where thats dress. the time we lost just isnt fair, but i guess thats life; pain and despair. you dont know how bad it hurts when i think of your face, how every single breath i breath, lingers with your taste. and i wish you could know i miss you, with everything i am. and that i am tearing apart inside, because your never coming back. when the rhythm of your heartbeat stopped was when my world just went black. |
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© Copyright 2007 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved | |||
dah1namedj0na Junior Member
since 2007-08-19
Posts 19 |
wow that's a really powerful poem! The way the simple imagery comes to mind flows with the ebb of the previous stanzas. I really liked it |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
oh wow i loved your emotion that just stood out like bold letters |
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
"and i wish you could know i miss you, with everything i am. and that i am tearing apart inside, because your never coming back." This is def going up there with my favorite's by you...i love it ![]() So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart. |
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hunnie_girl![]() ![]()
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
when the rhythm of your heartbeat stopped was when my world just went black.~ CO how do you do it? I am totally in awe of your poetry, but this one was my fav ![]() Krysti |
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