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Teen Poetry #8
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my contribution of fate
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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my contribution of fate |
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Alex pb Junior Member
since 2007-07-25
Posts 22Arizona |
my aching heart... my thoughts of her beautiful essence washes over my mind this heavenly cloud covers my true judgment... It distracts me from my true reason I make a mistake and fall endlessly.... into this unholy place with a darkness so pale.... Above I see the beautiful cloud... reminiscing as if i have never fell.... it gently floats away.... slowly taking the only ray of light... I wisp away into the darkness... for it has consumed me... |
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| © Copyright 2007 Alexis Gerardo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
"I make a mistake and fall endlessly.... into this unholy place with a darkness so pale..." This is my favorite line, but the whole thing was really good  I can't tell you how many times i have felt that way! Nicely done.So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I like the way the words sound when I read it. I like the vocab. it reminds me of a oceans tide. nice work. |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
it sounds full of pain. nice Alex. very nice -Red "I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow |
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