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Teen Poetry #8
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Pretty Girl
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Pretty Girl |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world 
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Pretty girl, I know the world has hurt you, And I know he took your heart, I saw the pain as it rushed down your cheek The night he tore your world apart. He was the first to win your heart, You timidly gave it up, Only for it to be cracked and broken Because to him you weren’t enough. I see the hunger in your eyes To feel the touch of a loving boys hand, The longing to find the right one; To find a guy who understands. Pretty girl, I know he scarred you And I know the pain is hard to hide, I see the way you try to cover up But your bright blue eyes don’t lie. Pretty girl, I promise you one day he’ll look back And realize there was no one like you, You’ll be the girl he could never replace, And you’ll be with someone who already knew. -Erin So I'm really rusty...I haven't written in a long time..and suddenly inspiration hit me. Unfortunately. Anyways...just had my heart broken, and I wrote this kind of as a note to myself that it'll be his loss in the end. Hope you enjoy AIM-beatufu1tragidy |
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| © Copyright 2007 Erin - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
it is so good to see you back here. Now one of my fav. from you but as you said yes, it has been awhile. I still understamd where you are coming from in the poem and for that, this was amazing. Again Good to have you back Erin  hunnie. ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
This is amazing The flow was just so perfect, and the rhyming wasn't forced at all...i loved it So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart. |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
woah WONDERFUL! i love it. Your flow was flawless, that makes me happy Sorry about your heart, hun. But yes, it will be his loss, an its good that you know that already :] I hope to read more from you, soon! An coincedently, we dont think your poems are unfortunate :]] ~missy |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
I agree this is a wonderful poem with great flow... like most of your other poems  keep up the good work, great job"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop" |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
If it helps your heart at all your right, he will in the long room pay because you will have moved on and a good while later the guy (cause guys aren't all that smart.. most of them) will realize what he lost.. It just may take him awhile. See it also kinda proves he's stupid already to make that mistake in the first place, or at least thats what I think of those type of guys who break hearts and it takes them forever to figure it out. this poem was amazing though, title , the whole deal. My favorite from you that I can think of off the top of my head, it all clicks. Its beautifully written and the emotion is soo strong. A powerful piece |
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littlefairy Member
since 2007-08-06
Posts 51New York |
I loved it. Mostly because you were telling yourself that it'll be ok that in the end you'll have won out. I had just had my heart broken too. Twice actually. One right after the other and i'm not the type of person to just fall in love randomly. The first guy last a year and the second just walked out of my life. Their the only one's i have ever loved and they'll stay the only ones. Great job -Tara |
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