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Teen Poetry #8

Old Fashion Goodbye

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

0 posted 2007-07-24 08:58 AM

Old Fashion Goodbye

A golden necklace
She holds in her hands
A wary stare
Her face thinks just

Air traveling kisses
That never make it
Chiming bells sing
She stands tall for thee

Words that mean nothing
Pushed out of mouths
Timing never worse
And a room full of fears

A sad kiss goodbye
And a tear for the road
Parting hands held out still
And tears eyes blur the view

Hours drawing them apart
And years past between
An ashen cheek to a trembling hand
Old and grey, but happy at last

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

[This message has been edited by RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed (07-25-2007 11:40 AM).]

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

1 posted 2007-07-24 10:57 AM

I liked it

The flow seemed a little off, but the words were put together very well. Nice write!

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

2 posted 2007-07-24 12:26 PM

yea i tried a few times, but couldn't get the flow, but i loved the idea and message, so i posted it anyways

-Red

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-07-24 04:07 PM

Awe I liked the message too. Kinda felt melancholy loved the poem

hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

4 posted 2007-07-24 09:50 PM

wow this was really good red. i liked this alot. ive been likeing your more recent posts and i must say i like them quite a bit, even though i may not comment on them

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