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Open Poetry #44
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The storm out at sea
| Open Poetry #44 |
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The storm out at sea |
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marc3696 New Member
since 2009-01-02
Posts 9 |
The storm out at sea. ----------------------- The water swirled around rapidly. Could it be? The start of a storm? I look out to sea as small waves start to form. I look at the sky. The clouds are turning blue,turning grey and turning black. The clouds now spitting upon the sea. Now the sea is moving more rapidly than the last time i looked. A thunderous roar from above signals the start of the storm........ The waves are fighting two wrestlers in a ring,clashing together and pinning each other down. A flash from above hits the jagged rocks at the side of the beach. I must stay safe now i could get included in this fight. i cant stop staring I'm stuck,fascinated. Its dying down now.They have admitted defeat. The clouds are going home and so should i.... Its been a long night watching the storm out at sea. by Marc3696 |
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| © Copyright 2009 marc3696 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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marc3696 New Member
since 2009-01-02
Posts 9 |
hi this is my first post here..I'm 12 years old and have a big interest in poetry and story writing,look forward to seeing members work and getting some fresh ideas into the bargain  |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
There's some great action lines in this piece that make the images more vivid. Nice work! Eric |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
marc, welcome to PiP -- you write beyond your years, sir. Will surely be looking for more writes down the road...thank you for sharing |
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marc3696 New Member
since 2009-01-02
Posts 9 |
Thank you. I entered it in a competition. I sure hope i win. |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Marc, Welcome to PiP. I hope that I don't sound patronizing when I say that you have surpassed any poetic effort that I made at twelve. I saw the picture you painted - well, maybe not the same picture that you saw, but I saw a picture from your words. Keep up the writing - even if you don't win this competition. There will be more in your life and your work will only get stronger if you work at it. Again, welcome. Alison |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
marc3696 - nicely written, and enjoyed reading this writing... BC |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Hello Marc.. and welcome to our pages blue... this was a wonderful first offering I wish you the very best and I hope you win your competition.. please do keep posting here for us too!  RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Very impressive! ~ The poem on its own merit as well as the fact that it was written by a twelve-year old!!! I thoroughly enjoyed this reading experience. You have a tremendous amount of talent and I hope you do well in the competition in which you have entered this poem.  You have outstanding powers of observation which is a major asset for any writer. Big, warm, welcoming hug from a fellow storm-watcher, Earth Angel |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Hi Marc, this is so evocative of storms, thank you for the spiritful and very descriptive poem. yann |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! Please, check your email for a Very Special Greeting!!  |
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marc3696 New Member
since 2009-01-02
Posts 9 |
Thank u so much for the card.Im in process of finishing my next poem,i will post soon |
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