An Apple That Taste like Watermelon

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Open Poetry #44

An Apple That Taste like Watermelon

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

0 posted 2009-01-27 05:15 PM

I bite into an apple,
what's to believe,
it taste like watermelon
ever so sweet.
reminds me of those
long youthful times
when life was sweet
and tasteful.
days when i knew what fun
was,
and when time truly stood still.
especailly when it came to family,
now, now
it's only a memory.
an memory within an apple,
with it's taste of watermelon.
(In all honesty, this is actually based on me eating an apple during lunch hour. In which it really did taste like an watermelon.)

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2009-01-27 06:55 PM

Yo Ken206573,

The thought is there. It needs a little work with capitalization, and punctuation.

Bobby

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

2 posted 2009-01-27 10:39 PM

Perhaps it's just me but I've got a hard time imagining the apple tasting like a watermelon. Perhaps,"I wished it were a watermelon" would be more effective, also for what is to follow. I like that you add sensuality to your write, smell and taste engage and impress both the reader's mind and body. Mark

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2009-01-27 11:33 PM

Well, now you've whetted my appetite for both an apple and a slice of watermelon! Correstion, SLICES of watermelon!

This was a very sweet poem! ~ Literally and figuratively! lol

Earth Angel

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

4 posted 2009-01-28 05:09 PM

Bobby once again you see my flaw. I forgot, since I was in a hurry to get back to class. Thank you for your comment.

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

5 posted 2009-01-28 05:13 PM

I couldn't believe it myself. Yet the apple really did taste like a watermelon. Thank you for the comment and your thought. Hope to here your poems soon Mark.

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

6 posted 2009-01-28 05:17 PM

I'm glad you enjoyed a slice of my sweet poem. Thank you very much

Laverne Pacquire
Member

since 2009-11-15

Posts 96

7 posted 2009-11-21 05:59 PM

enjoyable read. I love apples and watermelons

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