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Osprey
Member

since 2009-04-12

Posts 249

0 posted 2009-05-29 12:08 PM

His Peace became a subjugating wind
He looked to those he knew would wipe his blood
And those who saw his open wound and grinned?
Their minds were merely footfalls in the mud.
He sought his comfort in those eyes he knew
Neglected long, tear-laden, pooled with sighs
Each searching for a reason to construe
The treachery within his bloodshot lies.

Time strides a pace so brisk, there's only past
Regrets, fool-shawled in blindness, must be free
The heavier the shutters, more the pain
For guilt, that taloned beast, will speak the last.
Rip-clawing at the inner-vanity
Too late, perhaps too late, to love again.

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2009-05-29 12:19 PM

Lovely words..sad, but lovely.

I liked the last 2 lines..but I can't say they were my favorite because I loved the whole thing.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2009-05-29 12:24 PM

quote:
Time strides a pace so brisk, there's only past

You conveyed this feeling intensely, but then it's just a feeling, not reality. There is only NOW.

And of course it is never, never too late to love again!!

Your write captivates.

Love,
Margherita

Rex
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 482
Houston, Texas

3 posted 2009-05-29 01:14 PM

Well done and longingly stated.

Regards.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

4 posted 2009-05-29 01:21 PM

Yo Osprey,

I'm afraid this is not very clear. I'd try for more simplicity.

Bobby

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

5 posted 2009-05-29 01:59 PM

footfalls in the mud. Intelligent line!

Enjoyed, but have to agree with bobby.

-P

Everyone deserves to be loved, even you.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2009-05-29 03:18 PM

oz...kewl stuff...enjoyed the depth and the purposeful murky texture..VIVA!!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

7 posted 2009-05-29 03:43 PM

I read the travels of a closed heart in this write. So easy to become stuck in the past... footfalls in the mud

A wonderful description of unavailable... nice to know that the winds do change.

Hmmm~ 4-wheelin' the bog, just over the rise...sunshine... better wear my helmet!

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

8 posted 2009-05-29 05:14 PM

Osprey - so much to contemplate in this writing. Well done...

BC

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