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Open Poetry #44
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Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2009-05-12 10:35 AM



The faint hues of longing,
crushing madly
like ocean curls
on virgin tongue.

Echoing wide and
dilated, blinking
in darkness,
forever
I am your pupil.

You keep my hand and we
continue...but
this time

I am psychic,
I know before the shame and
I breathe your disgust in me...you can hardly
speak my name...

After dark, and it snows
like tiny crumpled papers
filled with our mistakes..

Tell me
that I freed you from the burden
of not knowing what
breaking a heart is like, and I will

tell you

that I prized
each and every solemn
crack and twist
of your spineless knife....

© Copyright 2009 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2009-05-12 10:45 AM


This is almost painful to read... it's stark... and it's superb. *S*
AlluraD
Junior Member
since 2009-05-06
Posts 28
Florida
2 posted 2009-05-12 10:52 AM


Kaoru~
  This makes my stomach hurt...a good thing in light of your words, the ache inside them.

Tell me
that I freed you from the burden
of not knowing what
breaking a heart is like, and I will

tell you

that I prized
each and every solemn
crack and twist
of your spineless knife....

We, the reader, bring so much of our own reality to a read...can't help that, a seeing of what lies behind the words and behind our own eyes...to me..this last a testament to how much we can give to love, to give away self...to even love that which destroys us..yikes..yup~

Excellent write..very cool and unique visuals, perspective.

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
3 posted 2009-05-12 11:44 AM


Hey Kaoru... very impressive, cool and unique imagery.

Add me to the ranks of your fans.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2009-05-12 08:32 PM


You poetry comes so close to the edge, it is spellbinding,
and the emotional intensity is profoundly painful .

And always,  so very well penned~


Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2009-05-12 10:01 PM



I am psychic,
I know before the shame and
I breathe your disgust in me...you can hardly
speak my name.

Oh how I missed your poetry, this was excellent!  ((hugs to Freyja)) and you too.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

6 posted 2009-05-13 03:54 PM


in a very poignant write, this particularly stands out:

"After dark, and it snows
like tiny crumpled papers
filled with our mistakes."

Osprey
Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249

7 posted 2009-05-14 11:27 AM


Totally impressed by the depth and word power.
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2009-05-14 11:30 AM


you leave the metal taste in the mouth of my eyes..and I have learned to love the flavor
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2009-05-14 12:41 PM


After dark, and it snows
like tiny crumpled papers
filled with our mistakes..


in awe of these lines....in understanding too...

~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02  

Rex
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 482
Houston, Texas
10 posted 2009-05-14 01:06 PM


Heartwrung and painful. Well done and I know the feeling.

Regards.

Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
11 posted 2009-05-14 02:55 PM


Thank you.
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
12 posted 2009-05-14 05:06 PM


excellent read ... savoured, to the last drop

Rex

ken206573
Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487

13 posted 2009-05-14 05:15 PM


i LOVE THIS POEM. It shows so much emotion that I know quiet well. Hope to read more
leeler12
Junior Member
since 2009-04-29
Posts 15
Manchester, New Hampshire
14 posted 2009-05-14 05:55 PM


Oh wow, I really like this a lot. I think everybody can find a way to relate to it in their own way.

I especially liked the lines:

"Tell me
that I freed you from the burden
of not knowing what
breaking a heart is like, and I will

tell you

that I prized
each and every solemn
crack and twist
of your spineless knife.... "

It's a slap in the face... Makes them hurt more knowing you aren't..

"you can't gain anything , until you lose something"

greytree
Junior Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 45
Wales
15 posted 2009-05-15 01:15 PM


I like this so much I want to break my pen!  Your faint hues of longing have rendered a masterpiece.

In such an ugly time, beauty is the real protest

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
16 posted 2009-05-15 03:18 PM


I moved from the Northeast to get away from the cold winters,
     .... I find myself with a hint of missing.

A soft falling snow through a silent night always did hold me ....

      I have yet to miss the ache of your words, your edge leaves me snowbound!

Marcia MT
Junior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 36
California USA
17 posted 2009-05-15 04:06 PM


Wonderful use of words. I can feel your pain. The simile of the snow and crumbled pieces of paper is genius writing. I applaud you poet.


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