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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2009-05-12 10:35 AM

The faint hues of longing,
crushing madly
like ocean curls
on virgin tongue.

Echoing wide and
dilated, blinking
in darkness,
forever
I am your pupil.

You keep my hand and we
continue...but
this time

I am psychic,
I know before the shame and
I breathe your disgust in me...you can hardly
speak my name...

After dark, and it snows
like tiny crumpled papers
filled with our mistakes..

Tell me
that I freed you from the burden
of not knowing what
breaking a heart is like, and I will

tell you

that I prized
each and every solemn
crack and twist
of your spineless knife....

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2009-05-12 10:45 AM

This is almost painful to read... it's stark... and it's superb. *S*

AlluraD
Junior Member

since 2009-05-06

Posts 28
Florida

2 posted 2009-05-12 10:52 AM

Kaoru~
This makes my stomach hurt...a good thing in light of your words, the ache inside them.

Tell me
that I freed you from the burden
of not knowing what
breaking a heart is like, and I will

tell you

that I prized
each and every solemn
crack and twist
of your spineless knife....

We, the reader, bring so much of our own reality to a read...can't help that, a seeing of what lies behind the words and behind our own eyes...to me..this last a testament to how much we can give to love, to give away self...to even love that which destroys us..yikes..yup~

Excellent write..very cool and unique visuals, perspective.

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member

since 2009-03-11

Posts 1257
Louisiana

3 posted 2009-05-12 11:44 AM

Hey Kaoru... very impressive, cool and unique imagery.

Add me to the ranks of your fans.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2009-05-12 08:32 PM

You poetry comes so close to the edge, it is spellbinding,
and the emotional intensity is profoundly painful .

And always, so very well penned~

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2009-05-12 10:01 PM

I am psychic,
I know before the shame and
I breathe your disgust in me...you can hardly
speak my name.

Oh how I missed your poetry, this was excellent! ((hugs to Freyja)) and you too.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

6 posted 2009-05-13 03:54 PM

in a very poignant write, this particularly stands out:

"After dark, and it snows
like tiny crumpled papers
filled with our mistakes."

Osprey
Member

since 2009-04-12

Posts 249

7 posted 2009-05-14 11:27 AM

Totally impressed by the depth and word power.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

8 posted 2009-05-14 11:30 AM

you leave the metal taste in the mouth of my eyes..and I have learned to love the flavor

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

9 posted 2009-05-14 12:41 PM

After dark, and it snows
like tiny crumpled papers
filled with our mistakes..

in awe of these lines....in understanding too...

~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02

Rex
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 482
Houston, Texas

10 posted 2009-05-14 01:06 PM

Heartwrung and painful. Well done and I know the feeling.

Regards.

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

11 posted 2009-05-14 02:55 PM

Thank you.

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

12 posted 2009-05-14 05:06 PM

excellent read ... savoured, to the last drop

Rex

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

13 posted 2009-05-14 05:15 PM

i LOVE THIS POEM. It shows so much emotion that I know quiet well. Hope to read more

leeler12
Junior Member

since 2009-04-29

Posts 15
Manchester, New Hampshire

14 posted 2009-05-14 05:55 PM

Oh wow, I really like this a lot. I think everybody can find a way to relate to it in their own way.

I especially liked the lines:

"Tell me
that I freed you from the burden
of not knowing what
breaking a heart is like, and I will

tell you

that I prized
each and every solemn
crack and twist
of your spineless knife.... "

It's a slap in the face... Makes them hurt more knowing you aren't..

"you can't gain anything , until you lose something"

greytree
Junior Member

since 2009-02-24

Posts 45
Wales

15 posted 2009-05-15 01:15 PM

I like this so much I want to break my pen! Your faint hues of longing have rendered a masterpiece.

In such an ugly time, beauty is the real protest

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

16 posted 2009-05-15 03:18 PM

I moved from the Northeast to get away from the cold winters,
.... I find myself with a hint of missing.

A soft falling snow through a silent night always did hold me ....

I have yet to miss the ache of your words, your edge leaves me snowbound!

Marcia MT
Junior Member

since 2009-05-15

Posts 36
California USA

17 posted 2009-05-15 04:06 PM

Wonderful use of words. I can feel your pain. The simile of the snow and crumbled pieces of paper is genius writing. I applaud you poet.

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