Open Poetry #44 |
Not Enough Alcohol in The Bottle |
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Not Enough Alcohol in The Bottle Even the alcohol Can't dissolve memories And consequences That replay in my mind What ifs are nullified Before the answers here Between me and this man Our voids consumed with booze Lit bar lights shine down And hit our bottles so All we see is amber Just like the bottle We were empty inside And left separately alone In time all things end Even hangovers And our broken hearts -Juju [This message has been edited by Juju (05-08-2009 11:25 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2009 Juju - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Just so! Dear Juju, I love how you arrived to the conclusions. The bottle is never good company. Well done! Love, Margherita |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Someone once told me I wouldn't find God in a bottle. I argued that if God is omnipresent, than why not? *smile* My kind friend suggested that it's entirely possible that God is there, but the cruelty is that we might confuse the numb of drunk with the peace of "God", and never be able to ascertain the difference. And that? I understood. Yer a lovely one yanno. |
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Osprey Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249 |
Must say, I can so relate to your first stanza. I've tried the experiment on more than one occasion, and I have to agree with your conclusion: there isn't enough alcohol in the bottle. Nicely done. |
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Raindance Member
since 2009-02-07
Posts 120West Coast |
Seeking the alcohol spirits for guidance usually ends up in brokenness. Very good write. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
There's a lot to say about the bottom of a bottle and the feelings it might portray. I'd say I'd feel more disappointed that I drank so dang much. heh Lovely work, and I've been to this place. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Truef. -P Everyone deserves to be loved, even you. |
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collins613 Junior Member
since 2009-05-08
Posts 15NYC, NY |
Juju, I really enjoyed the piece. I might change one small thing, however. Instead of: "Just like the bottle We felt empty inside". you could say "just like the bottle we WERE empty inside". The bottle would BE empty but would not FEEL empty. Otherwise it's terrific. Collins613 |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Collins, Your right -Juju |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Once I was a bottle baby and I liked this, Juju. A |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Hello Juju, bottle is a bad friend and will make run lovers...However the experience of the poem is quite touching and beautifully expressed. I share a poem with you : The devil who sleeps in the bottle wants me to clear his way and forget about my friends, He wants me to be a scarecrow for sympathy or tenderness, He wants me to cut the roads that snake towards genuine love, He wants me to throw lamps or plates against the walls and be as miserable as a rat or scream rather than write a poem, Sometimes he gives me ideas about politics or philosophy but hides me their worthlessness, The devil who sleeps in my head usually let me become his friend just until the bottle is empty. have a nice day yann |
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greytree Junior Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 45Wales |
Such truth in your words. I'm slowly coming round to your way of thinking. Me and the bottle haven't quite had that falling out yet Great poem! In such an ugly time, beauty is the real protest |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
This is so well expressed, and ends with a powerful truth. God bless, Rae |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. In Vino Veritas but only up to a certain point beyond which there is only emptiness. . . Which is why I like sake . . . I get sleepy before I get stupid Good Juju I enjoy reading you John . |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Juju, A young child like you shouldn't be into booze at all. Love Bobby |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Even the alcohol Can't dissolve memories And consequences That replay in my mind A painful truth we each seem to need to find for ourselves... excellent write! |
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