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Open Poetry #44
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Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2009-05-07 01:06 AM


Not Enough Alcohol in The Bottle

Even the alcohol
Can't dissolve memories
And consequences
That replay in my mind

What ifs are nullified
Before the answers here
Between me and this man

Our voids consumed with booze
Lit bar lights shine down
And hit our bottles so
All we see is amber

Just like the bottle
We were empty inside
And left separately alone

In time all things end
Even hangovers
And our broken hearts

-Juju

[This message has been edited by Juju (05-08-2009 11:25 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Juju - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2009-05-07 04:12 AM


Just so! Dear Juju, I love how you arrived to the conclusions. The bottle is never good company.

Well done!

Love,
Margherita

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2009-05-07 05:12 AM


Someone once told me I wouldn't find God in a bottle.

I argued that if God is omnipresent, than why not?

*smile*

My kind friend suggested that it's entirely possible that God is there, but the cruelty is that we might confuse the numb of drunk with the peace of "God", and never be able to ascertain the difference.

And that? I understood.



Yer a lovely one yanno.

Osprey
Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249

3 posted 2009-05-07 05:37 AM


Must say, I can so relate to your first stanza. I've tried the experiment on more than one occasion, and I have to agree with your conclusion: there isn't enough alcohol in the bottle.
Nicely done.



Raindance
Member
since 2009-02-07
Posts 120
West Coast
4 posted 2009-05-07 08:33 AM


Seeking the alcohol spirits for guidance usually ends up in brokenness. Very good write.
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
5 posted 2009-05-07 08:43 AM


There's a lot to say about the bottom of a bottle and the feelings it might portray. I'd say I'd feel more disappointed that I drank so dang much. heh

Lovely work, and I've been to this place.

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
6 posted 2009-05-07 11:00 AM


Truef.

-P

Everyone deserves to be loved, even you.

collins613
Junior Member
since 2009-05-08
Posts 15
NYC, NY
7 posted 2009-05-08 12:23 PM


Juju,
I really enjoyed the piece.
I might change one small thing, however.
Instead of:
"Just like the bottle
We felt empty inside".
you could say "just like the bottle we WERE empty inside".
The bottle would BE empty but would not FEEL empty.
Otherwise it's terrific.
Collins613

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
8 posted 2009-05-08 11:25 PM


Collins,

Your right

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
9 posted 2009-05-09 11:28 PM


Once I was a bottle baby and I liked this, Juju.

A

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
10 posted 2009-05-10 02:34 AM


Hello Juju, bottle is a bad friend and will make run lovers...However the experience of the poem is quite touching and beautifully expressed.

I share a poem with you :

The devil who sleeps in the bottle
wants me to clear his way
and forget about my friends,
He wants me to be a scarecrow
for sympathy or tenderness,
He wants me to cut the roads
that snake towards genuine love,
He wants me to throw lamps or
plates against the walls
and be as miserable as a rat
or scream rather than write a poem,
Sometimes he gives me ideas
about politics or philosophy
but hides me their worthlessness,
The devil who sleeps in my head
usually let me become his friend
just until the bottle is empty.

have a nice day

yann

greytree
Junior Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 45
Wales
11 posted 2009-05-10 07:30 AM


Such truth in your words.  I'm slowly coming round to your way of thinking.  Me and the bottle haven't quite had that falling out yet

Great poem!

In such an ugly time, beauty is the real protest

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
12 posted 2009-05-10 04:08 PM


  This is so well expressed, and ends with a powerful truth.

  God bless,
   Rae

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
13 posted 2009-05-10 04:17 PM


.


In Vino Veritas
but only up to a certain point
beyond which there is only emptiness. . .

Which is why I like sake . . .
I get sleepy before I get stupid


Good Juju

I enjoy reading you

John

.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
14 posted 2009-05-10 06:49 PM


Yo dear Juju,

A young child like you shouldn't be into booze at all.

Love Bobby

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2009-05-11 03:47 PM


Even the alcohol
Can't dissolve memories
And consequences
That replay in my mind

A painful truth we each seem to need to find for ourselves... excellent write!

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