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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #44 |
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Worth(less) |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow 
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The bridges wave in the wind as I walk them, they fall apart, little by little, for I could not hold them together, I could not make my way across. I didn't have the strength. Instead, I stay, so unhappily, letting you rest your heavy head in my lap, drying the false tears, letting you make me into this unworthy, good for nothing maid. I lay quietly in your shade, so cold and knowing, that my debts can never be paid. These holes I've supposedly dug have been filled with your neglect, with your hate, and you're calling me all the wrong names, so I can never say goodbye. No, I cannot be a prisoner, I am not human enough to be freed. Anything I once was I gave to you, and on my knees, no less, begged for you to take take take... And now, now that I am hollow as you'd like I have nothing left to give, and no strength in me to fight, no passion to extend, only lines in your cleverly written play, you have me act this way, you have never learned to let me live... And just when I felt I was about to cry, you call me weak and worthless, you make me believe the lie, and lay me down to take me, it's only a moment in time to re-convince, as you stand tall and proud above me and you spit. But one day, one day, I will set your soul on fire, at least that's what I'd like to think, and I'd tell the world in a subtle way... but for now you say I'm not worth the ink. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Kaoru, I think you've got good material here. I liked the bridge imagery in the first stanza, and the nascent prisoner's one could complete it nicely. I'd like to seem them developed, or at least maintained with a few keywords in the later stanza, to give it a metaphoric unity. I hope this helps, Mark |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
This is quite the poetic appeal to the writer's self esteem. I enjoyed the read very much. Eric |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Meghan!! I got all tingly when I saw your name! How are you and the little one? I loved this piece and have missed your style...  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Lady K.. almost a girl poe feel..but some warm of hope at the window..enjoyed it |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
M how happy I was to see your name this morning!!! then I read your words they sting like salt from an ocean in wounds not healed your heart is so beyond the rock tied to your neck and worthy of the ink? your pen dips in tears and blood and writes of clouds on pages of flight your ink is the key to a prison that could never have a hold on you your wings are not broken just at the moment they are tied loving you H |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Meghan! You're baaaack! I am so pleased to see you posting again. Your first stanza grabbed my attention right at the start! "The bridges wave in the wind as I walk them, they fall apart, little by little, for I could not hold them together, I could not make my way across. I didn't have the strength." ~ You vividly brought back a recurring nightmare that I have had!  I was engaged right down to the closing lines "but for now you say I'm not worth the ink." ~ Well, m'dear! You're special and your illustrious ink is always worth the read and think!  Sending love and a warm hug to you and your precious daughter!  Linda |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
it is good to see your name in here again!  I remember what this feels like, you don't forget it, but when you divorce it...it is amazing... wishing you healing...and strength...  |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Me, I like the flow, the choice of words, the feel...actually nothing I don't like about it...sometimes in changing things you lose what you write - to me, no change is necessary for enhancement one way or the other...but then, I've a simple mind. Loved it, my friend. j. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
And I summoned goddesses, and look who showed up... This is one of my recurring dreams (it's neck and neck with the runaway train and my teeth falling out)  But you make this so eloquently accessible. It's good to see you lovie. And speaking of Goddesses? How is Freyja? (Freja?) sigh I have to brush on my goddesses.  Grand to read you! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
A fine read, Meghan, albeit sad. You deserve only quality 'ink' and companionship. Hope the little one always comforts your spirit.  |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
In my own silence, I found myself joyful just to find your words .... as I read I found you in that fold of light, the night and day of time, where I always found you before, and still. the world awaits your fire! : ) Great seeing you again. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Not so hollow not so empty because, one day, one day, you'll reclaim that which is...you Good to see you on this, my once-in-a-blue-moon, visit Be well, Megan |
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