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Open Poetry #44
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Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England

0 posted 2009-04-11 04:25 PM


My words doth speak a eulogy for hearts
That beat so close yet bleed from distant shores,
The crimson tears from man who lives apart
From woman fair, who loveth him yet more.
And she in turn doth weep, for earth and sea
That sunders union of flesh and blood,
Forever dwelling far apart from he,
And praying gods their weaving will be good.
A deity would grant their wish in time,
A promised word if they could keep their faith
For two full turns of winter's frost and rime,
If so the lover's fate would be then safe.
A triumph great of souls that meet at last,
Desiring lust and passion's great repast.



When I see your face all the angels are shamed.

© Copyright 2009 Luke Doubtfire - All Rights Reserved
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
1 posted 2009-04-11 06:13 PM


She is blessed, your lover,
for these words comfort her heart,
a soothing to the ache,
for being so far apart....

~Thank you, My dear Luke~
Lover of my soul!

~ARH

Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
2 posted 2009-04-12 10:51 PM


"Thoughts dwindle on their conscious
Love within their star-crossed minds
Forever parted by the vast sea
Reasons hard to understand yet true."

(7,8,8,7) Its a weird pattern but I did it! :P Its not iambic but its a start.

I really love this Luke, like I said before its one of your best.

-Zach

We all flirt with the tiniest notion of self-conclusion in one simple motion.  

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2009-04-14 08:34 PM


beautiful words in a lovely form...nicely done
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4 posted 2009-04-14 09:15 PM


Yo Suncleaver,

Yes indeed, it is an Elizabethan sonnet.

This is very good work.  You don’t see many good sonnets here.

Bobby

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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » For my Lover (sonnet)

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