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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 2009-03-28 10:48 PM

When I hear the word critique,
I must admit my knees go weak,
I'm not so dumb that I don't know it,
That I am lacking, as a poet.

Iambic what? I am a dunce,
I don't know rhyme, from my assonance,
Pentameter, is that some race?
Petrarchan who? from outer space?

I write a poetic witticism,
Then feel harsh bite of criticism,
My battered soul to all laid bare,
When I'm strapped in, crit's electric chair.

You skewer me on critic's spit,
Every ode I've ever writ.
Why don't you get what my words mean?
Why must you slice, like guillotine?

What's that you say, critique is gone,
Into thin air, from this site withdrawn,
Now when I write, how will I know
If my ode has metered flow.

Who will tell me I'm cliche'd,
Or redundant, I'm so dismayed,
Internal rhymes I'll never write,
Critique took flight, farewell, goodnight.

[This message has been edited by Tim (03-29-2009 08:07 PM).]

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2009-03-29 05:43 AM

Oh, Tim, the tune and the emotions are always present in your poems and for me that's what counts ... you wrote a funny requiem for CA.

Love,
Margherita

critical mass
Member

since 2009-03-25

Posts 275
Michigan

2 posted 2009-03-29 06:52 AM

Tim

Pretty funny, enjoyed this.

Just one nit......

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2009-03-29 11:05 AM

Time...Yes indeed...I too was surprised to see it gone. I always enjoy your wit...nothing wrong with that.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

4 posted 2009-03-29 04:54 PM

I am pretty much like you, Tim. I don't know much about the construction of poetry.
I just write what sounds good in my head and luckily I have a thick skin.
Ida

LindsayP
Member Elite

since 2007-07-28

Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria

5 posted 2009-03-29 09:33 PM

Tim do not under-rate your self my friend
That one has good rhyming and meter as well

and was a pleasure to read. I like your style. Take care.

Lindsay

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2009-03-30 04:18 PM

I love this, Tim... even if you belie your words with the skill you use in weaving them. *S*

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2009-03-30 09:36 PM

I don't know a da from a dum myself, but I do know you sure write "smooth," and there is always a great message.

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