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Open Poetry #44
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SEA
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with you

0 posted 2009-03-18 06:07 PM



I lost my father
and lost my faith in god
seems everything I believed in
is just a smoke screen, a façade

nothing tangible
nothing real
nothing to believe in
nothing to help me heal

science is making
a whole lotta sense
but I’m thinking
it’s at my hearts expense

I’m not afraid of going to hell
I’m just looking for a little peace
~some kind of serenity
so if you still have your faith
maybe you
could pray for me


~SEA~


© Copyright 2009 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2009-03-18 06:35 PM


Yo dear SEA,

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

Free will being what it is, it's entirely up to you to solve your problems.

Love Bobby

Midnitesun
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Gaia
2 posted 2009-03-18 08:49 PM


Oh, this is a total heartache write!
Hugs of peacefulness to you.

Artic Wind
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since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
3 posted 2009-03-18 09:10 PM


Aweeeee
   ~Wishing all is well~


ARCTIC WIND

Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England
4 posted 2009-03-18 10:00 PM


I'm so deeply sorry to hear of your loss SEA. Especially after you've helped me and Emily so much. This is surely a poor repayment.

My faith was utterly shattered when I lost my fiancee at 17 to a heroin overdose.

But I firmly believe that if you live life as best you can, if there is a benevolent god then he will understand and answer for what he has given and taken.

Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2009-03-18 10:31 PM


on this very day 29 years ago that I lost my mother, I still somehow manage to pull out a bit of faith...and I always pray for you

love you

Newpoet
Member
since 2008-05-16
Posts 72

6 posted 2009-03-18 10:37 PM


Wow. This poem reminds me of what I wrote when my father died. I will tell you that the numb pain will lurk for a long time, and if you let the burdens linger in your soul, you will never find a moment's peace.

I'm about to spout some cliche's which stand the test of time: time dulls the wounds, no matter how tragic, if you accept the tragic circumstances... cherish the pleasant memories of your father... live your life as a good person... All you can do is learn from this experience and know that life is quick... Do what is true to you.

WTBAKELAR
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Senior Member
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089
Utah, USA
7 posted 2009-03-19 09:26 AM


My Dearest Susan,
I do know what it is like to loose a loved one.  
I know it hurts more than anything you may have physically experienced in your life.

The heart is fragile and yet so strong at the same time.

The pleasure it feels in love is the sourse of the pain it feels in loss.

Yet, If you understand that the loss you feel, reminds you of the love you felt, you can understand and remember forever the love.

We are all here for a very short time, an eyeblink, but we are here, and we are here for a reason.  Maybe we don't always know or understand why, but I feel we are here to learn, grow, teach, share, feel; happiness and sorrow, and to pass on what we learn to the next generation.  We are all born and we all will die, and it hurts the ones we leave behind until they understand that the passing is just part of the plan.

What is important, is to take what you have learned from the ones you have lost and use it to help the ones you love.

I know it seems like God took your father from you too soon, and that is a hard one to understand, But we all have a time to be, and a time to move on.

The one thing that is, and always will be,
Is the love that is held between you.
That will never end.  It is timeless.

Tracey.

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
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Realms of Light
8 posted 2009-03-19 10:54 AM


Everyone works through the grieving process in their own way. I am truly sorry for the pain and the loss you are experiencing ~ and on several levels. When we lose a loved one, it feels like the rug has been pulled right out from under us.

Sending prayers and healing thoughts to help you through this time of hurt and confusion,


Linda

inkedgoddess
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since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2009-03-19 03:03 PM


praying for you
and for your restored faith

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
10 posted 2009-03-19 07:21 PM


SEA - a prayer for you coming up. Stay well, and things do get better, I promise...

BC

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
11 posted 2009-03-19 08:22 PM



Dear Susan I will happily pray for you, for my heart does feel for you my dear. Death,

sad though it may be has to be faced by everyone. Just between you and me I

honestly don't think there is a place called hell and if there is a place called

heaven, thats where you will go. Love to you my friend.

Lindsay

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2009-03-20 10:04 AM


I gave up my claims on heaven... there's that lack of repentance stuff *S*... but faith I still have... maybe my Dad left me some of his. *S*

You are stronger than you know you are, dear lady... I will pray you find that strength. Beautiful, poignant plea!!

SEA
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13 posted 2009-03-22 06:55 PM


thank you, each of you, for your kind words here...they mean a lot to me. My dad passed last May, and I'm not much better today than I was when I found out. I miss him very much.
Alison
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14 posted 2009-03-22 08:31 PM


SEA,

My heart goes out to you.  I like the poem and I am spent a few quiet moments thinking about you.

A

Indigo
Senior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 602

15 posted 2009-03-22 08:50 PM


Dear Sea -

Although it is little comfort when your pain is still so real, be thankful for the time you did get to have him in your life.  I was only ten when my father died, and I still grieve for all the things I couldn't learn from him or share with him these many years past.  I know how you feel about how the bonds of your faith have been frayed and even broken. When I stopped thinking about his death as something that had been 'done to me' and started thinking about it as something that was 'right for him,' I began to understand and accept that even though his path was truly separate from mine, I was blessed to have them cross so that we had the chance to walk together even for a short while.  Sending good thoughts and white light your way, Sea.
Indigo

Margherita
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since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
16 posted 2009-03-23 04:36 AM


No doubt, those we love always die too early in our opinion, even if they are a hundred years old ...
You have had a wonderful gift from heaven: a happy relationship with your Father. I am sorry that you lost faith because of his transition, though I think you had reason to be grateful for what you had.
The soul connection goes on forever. Trust.
Remembere that you are your Father's sunshine, so dry your tears and start to shine for him again. "Hell" is just what you have created yourself by not accepting what has happened. May harmony unfold with your every step from now on.
All my love and heartprayers.
Margherita


SEA
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with you
17 posted 2009-03-23 09:12 AM


thank you ladies, I did accept his passing. He was really sick, and I didn't want him in pain. He passed in his sleep, that is what he wanted and I'm ok with it. I just miss him so much. He was my rock. My father was a very spiritual man, and taught me a lot. I just haven't quite gotten my footing back yet. I honestly don't know when I will.
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California
18 posted 2009-03-23 07:07 PM


:hug:
Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
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Ontario, Canada
19 posted 2009-03-23 10:21 PM


Beautifully written Susan ... I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. Sending you a heartfelt prayer and sincere hug.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Raindance
Member
since 2009-02-07
Posts 120
West Coast
20 posted 2009-03-24 09:20 AM


raw emotion well expressed...
hugs to you

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
21 posted 2009-03-25 09:59 PM


That's so hard to experience I certainly feel for you.
It seems so unfair that death should have the power to take away someone you love. And when it happens, the thought of never again being able to talk to, laugh with, or hold your loved one can be most difficult to bear. That pain is not necessarily erased by being told that your loved one is up in heaven.

The Bible, however, holds out a much different hope. The Scriptures indicate that it is possible to be reunited with your dead loved one in the near future, not in an unknown heaven but right here on earth under peaceful, righteous conditions. And at that time humans will have the prospect of enjoying perfect health, and they will never have to die again. 'But surely that is wishful thinking!' some may say.

(John 5:21, 28, 29)

An angle many never look at.

Take care

Eric

Boshii2
Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146

22 posted 2009-03-26 11:38 AM


may I please just sit under ethome's reply for a while .. thank you . Boshii2
critical mass
Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275
Michigan
23 posted 2009-03-26 11:22 PM


I lost my parents a long time ago. We just buried my wifes dad last fall. Things do get easier. Mourning is for those left behind. Memories are for those who move forward. That's what life is, leaving memories.
Enjoy the memory of your Dad.
Best Wishes
David

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
24 posted 2009-03-30 09:39 PM


It takes everyone a different time frame to move forward, but it is true, that if you celebrate their life, rather than focus on the loss, it gets easier.  Sorry for your loss, I didn't know Sea.
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