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Open Poetry #44
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cactus
Junior Member
since 2006-09-17
Posts 12


0 posted 2009-03-26 01:04 AM


------------SPACE

I float around in, outer space.  
And I know that, I should stay
But I feel the void, the loneliness that comes
Why so cold, when close to the sun?

Once a slave to your, gravitation
I know firsthand of, temptation
But from this space, I can only see
Through a desperate lens….comfort, warmth, and peace.

Falling. Falling to you.

Cut the sun wings and I dive
Through the heat of, a sinful sky
The same pollution, from which I came  
I fall fast, and I burst into flames

Falling. Falling to you.

© Copyright 2009 cactus - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2009-03-26 11:32 AM


Cut the sun wings and I dive

Sometimes the pull is just that strong... for to be without them is to die slowly.

Well done... welcome to Passions! *S*

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
2 posted 2009-03-26 12:47 PM


This is massively impressive.

-P

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2009-03-26 02:48 PM


"Cut the sun wings" Very intense imagery!
Enjoyed this offering.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2009-03-26 03:25 PM


Enjoyed very much!


ARCTIC WIND

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2009-03-29 01:00 AM


Very good.  I like how you worked the rhyme in this poem.  The poem, itself, is original and a pleasure to read.

Alison

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