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Teen Poetry #1

Danger--Please respond

Devin
Junior Member

since 1999-08-23

Posts 29
Oviedo,Fl, USA

0 posted 1999-09-09 07:58 AM

I look around
And prepare for battle
I ready myself
Taking my dagger out
The enemies all around me
Attacking
I lose myself
In battle
Forgetting
Who I am
And killing
The enemies
Then I wake up
And return to reality.

Or not?

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Never lose hope, even the darkest nights have ends.

beowulf_26
Member

since 1999-06-29

Posts 183

1 posted 1999-09-13 09:18 PM

I definitly liked the premise behind the poetry. Your word selection was simple and effective. The only thing I have against it it that it seemed to lack some emotion and it was a bit too fragmented in points. I think some things should have been in one line rather than split. But hey, that's just my opinion.

I look forward to reading more.

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Opinions are like bellybuttons: eveybody's got 'em and they're good for nothing.

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