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Your thoughts please on love and poets......
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Your thoughts please on love and poets...... |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
I'd love to get some thoughts from all of you on love, the difference between healthy love and unhealthy love and if some of you also have a problem with love because as poets you're extremely emotional. Hmmmm, okay, not saying all poets are this way but I think alot of us are very emotional people. Also contemplating the different kinds of love there seems to be......the slow steady calm love and the rollercoaster of the increadible highs and the terrible lows.....Is one more real than the other? Do you believe in soul mates and that do we as poets tend to seek that very emotional roller coaster type of love? And those of you who are married or in relationships......how much of your poetry to you share with your significant other and are they also a poet, or a completely different type of person? Is your poetry something you keep personal? Does anybody else have difficulty with this? Have been thinking about this alot lately and would love some imput on it! Thanks! To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
As for the love part, I'd have to think on that a while before I answered it. I am married, and I do share my poetry with my husband who is not a poet. Sometimes he'll comment on it, or help to critique it, but most of the time he don't hold much of an interest in it. Unless I really want him to read it, I usually won't even share it. |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Dreamkeeper, Please read about topic On Love it was ment for your topic. I post it wrong, sorry. |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Thanks for answering White Dove! I've contemplated this for awhile now. I'm in the midst of a divorce, after a marriage of over 10 yrs and one of the things that was so lonely for me was because he took absolutely no interest in the things I cared about, like my poetry. I couldn't share that with him, and that was a big part of my life. Thanks Walker, I'll read yours below!  To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well I write a lot of poems and I'd like to show my other, but I don't feel she appreciates it. It kind of bothers me....and my relationship is a rollercoaster one but i don't know. I am a VERY emotional person and that tends to get in the way of a lot of things. So everything you've descrived that might apply to you applies to me.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Dreamkeeper, You know writing is a lonely trade. I don't particulary feel that I have the need to show him what I write.He is smart enough to understand what I write, but he is not interested I think. I've read some of my things to him once and he thinks is good. Yet he is not the type to pick up my notebook that I leave everywhere and read it. He doesn't care for it. My husband is very different from me, I guess that's why opposites attract. I don't think that I need his approval at this point in my life. |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Healthy or unhealthy love--- First, let me say just because I think I know what healthy love is doesn't mean I tend to practice it. Ha. I think a healthy love/relationship is based on desire, attraction and respect rather than need. Healthy love is true love, unhealthy love is more often codependancy. Problems with love--- Story of my life and not such a bad story really. I love being in love. And so I tend to seek it out more than I probably should given the problems I do have while in the middle of it. I guess the biggest thing has been that one of us has always seemed to love more than the other. I seem to have a lot more interest in the ones that I love more. Ha. I recently experienced absolutely equal love between myself and another (it is the one I have written about here) and it was by far the most satisfying, passionate, healthy, mutually satisying relationship I have ever known. Which is really quite difficult for me to admit because the relationship is now over and I find myself very angry about that. Though, I believe the anger is my way of dealing with the loss because if I were to feel the loss as pain, I truly feel it might somehow kill me. Diff kinds of love--- Never known slow, steady love only the 'roller coaster' kind. I love and hate that ride, ya know? Soul mates--- Believe in them with all my heart. But I don't think just because you find yours it will ultimately work. I also believe the soul is an infinite thing and so we may have more than one 'soulmate'. Sharing poetry--- I share very little if any with my present partner. I have shared much with other lovers...especially with the one I referred to earlier. Poetry was a wonderful part of the way we communicated our love. I don't know if poets are more emotional than other people but I do think we look for the emotion in any situation more than others do. Personally, I love the drama of life and if nothing else, sometimes I come away from even the saddest times with a good story. And if I am grateful for nothing else in the end...I am grateful for that. I really enjoyed thinking about this and reading what others had to say. Glad you asked the question. |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
This has been so helpful for me! I'm so glad I asked about this. I do agree about the difference of healthy relationships vs. unhealthy relationships. Codependence. I can't decide if I think we all have a little codependence in us, or if some of us are just more prone to it? I can be healthy in a relationship for a good part of it but I certainly have my more needy times. I also agree with JRL that it usually seems that one partner is more in love than the other...part of that balancing dance we tend to do with each other. And that bothers me, because I think people can tend to manipulate the other with that. Any more thoughts on the rollercoaster love and the slow steady love and which is right or wrong/better than the other? Healthier? Is one more real than the other? Thanks so much everyone! You've given me alot to think about. To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Well, I have personally experience what you call healthy and unhealthy love. I'm sure most people have. You should read "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte. It shows love in many different forms that may be interesting to you. I used to "hide" from my loved ones, but now I'm much more open. I lost someone once because I was too addicted to my solitude and mystery. Now if I have something that my heart is saying, I'm more likely to share it. But of course...only with my extremely close friends. My unhealthy love was primal passion. the need for each other was so great that we both actually attempted suicide because we thought we couldn't be together. But in the same way I acknowledged my problems but was at peace with myself. He was happy and so was I. But only when we were together. That's why, I suppose, it was unhealthy. My other lover,whom I loved very much, made me very happy but made me kind of forget myself. And then...between me and someone else...there was a healthy balance. Still uncertain but it's getting there. and in the end we still pretend the time we spend not knowing when we're finally free and you could be -NIN "The Wretched" Angel of Darkness [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 02-16-2001).] |
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dreamer1 12 5 24 Member
since 2000-12-11
Posts 150crossing between |
Yes, there is such a thing as unhealthy love. Unfortunately. I like to share my poetry, and I am VERY emotional. ....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice anything for the sake of it.... Robert Kaplan |
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