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Confused and Broken
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Confused and Broken |
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One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
I know you all are probably sick of reading all these sappy broken heart stories. So sorry. My girlfriend broke up with me about three monthes ago. We had only been together a couple of monthes. But she was in love with her old boyfriend and he came crawling back after he had broken up with her two months prior. I'm only 18 so I guess I havent had alot of relationships to compare. But this relationship was by far the best one I have ever had. So as you can imagine I was completely crushed. Just in these past few weeks I have been thinking about her alot. And I guess the reason I haden't missed over those first two months is because I was just to hurt to have feelings of missing someone. Well anyway I guess my problem is Im not sure if I was in love with her. Or if I loved her(if there is a difference). I think I told her that in an email and in a poem, wich I now regret doing. Because she says she is to uncomfortable to see me, cause she would feel to bad about how she ended our relationship. Well I'll stop babbling, but if anyone out there can help me better understand if I was really in love. Or just has some uplifting words or quotes or anything, I would definitaly be more than willing to listen. Thanks alot, I love you guys. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
One~ Well I cannot tell you if you were in love or not, that is what you have to answer for yourself. But I think that it was good that you told her how you felt. I keep alot of things in then let them out when its to late. You just got to realize that you will have plenty of other girls in your life. I am only 18 and I have a boyfriend. He is my first actual boyfriend. And I know that he isnt going to be the only person I am with. I am going to have plenty more guys in my future till I find that one person. Just let yourself loose. Dont live in the past. People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I'm not one to really say you weren't in love, but it's most likely infatuation. She touched your heart, you care deeply for her, but you are still young. And I don't care how 'old' we get, ending a relationship is never easy. Only advice I can give is if she feels that way, then back off and give her some room. Maybe down the line she'll see things differently, and want to come back, and maybe she won't. There will always be those who will hold a special place in our hearts, those we will never forget. But rest assured, you will have many 'loves' come into your young life yet. The day you settle down to marry that one 'true love' you shall look back and see what I mean.  There's a little clipping I have hanging on my fridg... You want to know what real love is? It's not what most people think it is. Real love is about decision and commitment-it's not a feeling. "That's what's wrong with people today, why there are so many failed relationships, why so many potential relationships never get off the ground." "Everyone is standing around waiting for 'the feeling.' They want to feel that spine-tingling rush of infatuation. Yes, that's right-that feeling is infatuation." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow well that was not good. I hope everything gets better though. I know how this might feel because I've been through something kinda the same. All I have to say is.........think positive, and try and hang with the guys for a while.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
You know, I've thought about what I posted before. I don't mean to sound heartless, or harsh. I've been through this as well. I had a guy back in Jr. High that I hung out with all the time. I really liked him a lot. We finally did date, but funny thing is it was only a week. But even before and after that, we did everything together. He kept going out with my best friend at the time. And that hurt. Years later, he was supposed to ask me out again, and I was highly anticipating this. I was with a different girlfriend at the time, when I ran into him. I was waiting for this 'question,' and actually he ended up talking to her. Not only that, a few months later, they ended up getting married! Talk about crushed!!! What was really hard, was my g/f asked me to be her maid of honor at the wedding. That was tough. They ended up in divorce shortly after that. He was into drugs, and shoved her down the stairs. I still have feelings for him though. It's just one of those things. But now that I look back on this all, I'm truly glad things turned out the way they did. I'm glad that I wasn't the one who married him! So even though you hurt right now, this might just be the best thing. Maybe something you won't realize for years or maybe months to come. So hang in there ok? Keep your chin up and give her room. Nothing wrong with letting her know you care. If this guy dumped her once, chances are he'll do it again. She just might wander back into your door. [This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 01-23-2001).] |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Only 18......wow......I wish I could go back, knowing what I know now  I don't think anyone can tell you if you were in love or not, I personally have been in love lots of times.......but not the real true love of say, marriage. I'm there now though. I know the hurt you speak of. It's no fun. ( to say the least) You really will love a lot more in your life. You are supposed to, so you can sort out the good from the bad......it's also a part of learning who you are......a part of finding the "right" one......how are you to know the right one until you've had a few that weren't? I truly believe it makes your heart love better You'll heal, she'll probably regret letting you go........enjoy the experience......and take it for what it is.Keep the happy stuff safe in your memories, and go get the next one!! Good luck, I hope your heart heals fast Hugs to you~ SEA |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
I'm sorry about how your relationship ended. That must not have been good.. but i want to tell you that the sun will come out tomorrow. I've been through rough times... and the sun always comes out eventually. Just do something that makes yah happy and hang with your friends! that's the best way to have fun.. hope you feel better. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" ~Broadway Musical RENT~ *Cassandra Roseen* |
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