unconditional love???????????????

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amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

0 posted 1999-08-20 03:53 AM

i have found myself wondering lately, what can you do when you love someone with your entire heart, but they put conditions on your love. can you really call it love? and is there really one that is truly unconditional? its so hard to even attempt to move on, when everything you think, feel, and want revolves around that person. and he calls and asks me to tell him i dont love him, and hell move on, and i cant, even though i know its best for both of us. he confuses the hell out of me and im wondering if thats what draws me to him the most. if anyone has read any of my poetry, hes the one thats broken my heart a thousand times, but forgiveness runs thick i suppose. is moving on really the answer, if so why does it hurt so bad?????????

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 1999-08-20 10:53 AM

Move on, dear. It only hurts at first - think of it like a wound. At first, when it's beginning to heal, there's a tenderness, a soreness to it. If you leave it alone (don't keep going back to him) it will get better - there may be a little scar to remind you, but it will heal.

mister61
Junior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 41
bergen county, nj

2 posted 1999-08-20 11:02 AM

I agree, though it is MUCH more easily said than done. Stop torturing yourself and end those phone calls quickly, if you can. Maybe tell him to say anything he has to say in a letter to you or something. I know from experience how hard it is when you hear "that" voice and your heart starts pounding and you feel that little glimmer of hope - for about 10 seconds. Then it hurts all over again when it's snatched back. Good luck - that's got to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

jfreak
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 306
Yuma, AZ, USA

3 posted 1999-08-20 03:10 PM

Hey Amber,

I must say that I agree with "devine" and "mister". I was in a situation where I was involved with a young woman who was five years older than me. I was 19 at the time and I fell in love with her and desperately wanted to marry her. She also had two little girls and for as long as I can remember I wanted to get married and have a family. We got engaged, informal like, and started planning our lives together. I had to leave her for a period of time, being in the Marines and all, and I started to contemplate what I was about to do and I saw that It wasn't in either of our best interests to move forward in our relationship. Alot of differentiating circumstances, the basic thing was that our lives were going into two different directions. Well I tried to break it off several times but my love her wouldn't allow me to. I was completely drawn to her like a drug. I was totally addicted to her love. I knew it wasn't good for either of us but I just couldn't do it. Then when I left for good I still couldn't do it. It wasn't till two months after I had left that I finally was able to break it all off completely. I cried and hurt so much that I thought my heart would explode. It wasn't till almost two months ago did I completely get over her. It was hard but I look back now and I don't regret breaking it off at all no matter how much it hurt.

Amber, the reason I said all that was this. Sometimes the best thing for us, is not always the easiest. That is what seperates the men from the boys, the women from the girls. Doing the hard and unfun stuff when it has to be done. No matter how much it hurts, b/c that is what is best for everyone. Keep your head up and find you a good close friend for a shoulder to cry on. Preferably a female, b/c you don't want to get involved in one of those rebound relationships. Then you would probably get hurt worse off than before. I will be praying for you Amber. Know that you are a blessing and that God knows your pain and sees you and is watching over you. You are his child and he loves you.

Jfreak

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

4 posted 1999-08-20 06:27 PM

thank you all for your replies, and concerns, i really appreciate it. i guess ive known the answer for so long but ive always been affriad of goodbyes. ill take into considerstion all that you have sayed, and i truly want to thank you all with my deepest gratitude, for being there really, thank you.

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