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Derek
Junior Member

since 2007-10-20

Posts 38
New Hampshire, USA

0 posted 2007-12-01 12:05 PM

I am a very shy guy, so I feel a little weird doing this, but I need some input.

I basically found out today that my last girlfriend I had used me to get her ex jealous, And I the whole time we were dating it seemed like she was over him. I really liked her a lot, and when I found out about the whole jealous thing, it made me feel like crap. I dont have any feelings for her now, but I dont know what to think any more.

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

1 posted 2007-12-01 12:50 PM

Hi Derek,

If it is something that is going to be on your mind, maybe you need to ask her.  Instead of looking to her, I would probably wonder about the motivation of the one who told you your past girlfriend.

It always hurts a bit to find out that people may have had an agenda in a relationship that we shared with them.  But, it's kind of a life lesson.  It happens - and you are no longer with that girl.  So, while it hurts a bit, it's not much of an issue any longer.

As hard as it is, I'd just move forward and not take this too much to heart.  Past is just that and your future is ahead of you.  The lessons we learn guide us into that future and help determine what kind of people we wish to be.  Concentrate on you and know that people like your ex-girlfriend (if she really did use you) may have a hard time finding their happiness.

We all walk our own road - don't let anyone else steer you from what you want and what kind of people you want to associate with.

Good luck - have a piece of chocolate, taste the good and don't let others get to you.

Alison

TomMark
Member Elite

since 2007-07-27

Posts 2133
LA,CA

2 posted 2007-12-01 12:53 PM

You did nothing wrong. But one thing you want to learn is that how you judge that a person (a lady) like you. I don't believe that you missed the signs that she has not focused on you.

Good girls are everywhere. and more are kinder, smarter and prettier and more honest.

Tom

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2008-01-07 08:26 PM

Derek, just a little personal interchange here...guys do it to gals, too! I know. It happened to me a few decades ago; wow, for a married/divorced woman, I felt supremely used.

And then I dumped all of his "gifts" on the hood of his car in front of his girlfriend's apartment.

Let him explain that.

Then, almost immediately? Things got better!

JEZZ24
Junior Member

since 2008-01-10

Posts 11
UK

4 posted 2008-01-11 07:59 AM

Hi Derek

I feel for you, it's never nice to feel as though you have been used.
You say that you have no feelings for her anymore but the fact that you have let this get to you says otherwise.
She is not worth your thoughts, move on and all will be well.... Chin up and keep smiling

joe86s
Junior Member

since 2008-01-07

Posts 10

5 posted 2008-01-11 07:45 PM

i feel ya, same thing happened to me

found out six months into a relationship that the girl still liked her ex. oh well

it doesnt mean she didnt have feelings for you--i certainly don't think my ex was pretending the whole time.

just, as people will be, fickle and uncertain.

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