Hallelujah (Kaoru's song challenge- i think)

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Open Poetry #30

Hallelujah (Kaoru's song challenge- i think)

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2004-01-13 02:55 PM

Here is my attempt.

She stares blankly
internal observations
of a mindless, cold girl
lost in a pale blur
of blue eyes.

Dancing methodically
to mythical music
the answers to all questions
are hidden deeply in her eyes
all you have to do is stare.

I used to live alone, before I knew you

Once upon a time
you took her hand
she transformed to a princess
right before her eyes
you were her fairytale.

A decade of broken promises
and yet, you've crowned her
with your words
you gaver her everything
she needed to be happy.

And from your lips, she drew the hallelujah

Can you teach her love?
How to let someone
care for her like you do now
how to dance with you and
not be scared?

She must be dreaming
but this is better
than life to her.
Your eyes
which smile only at her.

I've seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a lonesome hallelujah

You've seen the moonlight
glisten on her face
as you bid her goodbye-
farewell until
your next reunion.

She won't be lost
as the days are passed
talking, speaking
simple wishes of
a time when you will see her.

and every breath we drew was hallelujah

Her lips are your fairytale
you are her prince
her once apon a time
her salvation and
her happily ever after.

She leans in, warmly
comfort as she touches your face
the way you smile at her
as she approaches you
sealing the fairytale with a kiss.
http://www.lyricsdepot.com/rufus-wainwright/hallelujah.html

I wrote this while listening to Rufus Wainwright's Hallelujah and the poem might not necessarily fit with the entire song, but it's what I was thinking about while I was writing.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2004-01-13 08:19 PM

Allysa~
THIS IS MARVELOUS~
I'll be reading (or singing) again~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

2 posted 2004-01-14 12:16 PM

Personally, I don't like it all that much. I guess I just didn't communicate everything that I wanted to. Perhaps I'll try again later. I'm supposed to be studying for my AP English Exam (yeah.. sure), but that's not happening. Um, Marge, thanks very much for the comments! They make me smile!

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