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Open Poetry #29
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-11-18 11:20 PM


offerings of fingernail
notes I've scribbled
corneas
enscripted feathers under lash
        sabled brush
            hiding
              eyes


useries of
pasquinade
on the ledge of
not enough
      seldom
          is the
            god agreed
              helix
                ever
                  doubling...

  
a

time that was
is nevermore
mimicking
eternity.


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (11-18-2003 11:23 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Pip
Member
since 2001-09-14
Posts 59

1 posted 2003-11-19 12:51 PM


Holy Toledo!

I'm ever impressed.  I didn't catch the acrostic until I went back to figure out what an acrostic was, but by then I'd already read the poem and decided that I loved it.  Now, it's twice as wonderful because of the technical difficulty.  Completely impressed by your write.

-me
love

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2003-11-19 01:53 AM


Creative format.  Very engaging.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2003-11-19 04:16 AM


Ok who IS onceuponatimeshesighed?

Karen, you outdid yourself here
truly beautiful
(how do you do this style?
and why do I sense mascara?)
xxoo


[This message has been edited by littlewing (11-19-2003 04:18 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-11-19 04:25 AM


awesome! awesome! YES!
onceuponatimeshesighed
New Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 1

5 posted 2003-11-19 11:52 AM


Here ya go. I'm all official now.

and ya'll can just think of me as serenity's evil twin.



(can ya imagine?)



(onceuponatimeshe...exited)



bwahahahaha

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-11-19 12:17 PM


show off!
lol


we know you are talented... you just continue to show us exactly how talented you are...


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-11-19 12:20 PM



...and then some.

Go figure.


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2003-11-19 12:23 PM


Cap?

I wouldn't call hopping through hoops TALENT.

(would have been easier for me to write another poem, I think)

but Thanks all. I hope to be back later to read.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum...we got a COOL front in New Orleans.

Think I'll go breathe while I can.

Thanks again for reading.


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
9 posted 2003-11-19 12:40 PM


Cool beans girlie
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

10 posted 2003-11-19 12:44 PM


LOL.. you'd not likely call anything you did taltented.. but we do.. so go enjoy the cool...if that's your bent today.. but when you write witch...we all know there is talent.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2003-11-19 12:59 PM


Good grief!!!  What talent!
I love this!!!!!
And you lady....
Hugs~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
12 posted 2003-11-19 01:45 PM




(smiles) Yay, I just love the tunneling beauty of this, sweet friend, acrostics too can have vortexs and tailpipes and you had us all taken down into your poetic undertode! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

13 posted 2003-11-19 01:47 PM


I stand in awe Karen..
still shaking my head here and wondering when do the lessons begin.....*grinz*

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
14 posted 2003-11-19 02:05 PM


OH MY GOODNESSSSS!!!!!

Can somebody take my feeble attempt off??  

Now, I am  really embarrassed!!

Miss SereneOne is there anything you can't do  perfectly??

*Me going off shaking my head*

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (11-19-2003 02:07 PM).]

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-11-19 02:08 PM


Hey, Karen, you amazed me so much that I
forgot to say that I love it!!!!
You are gooooodddd!!!!!

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
16 posted 2003-11-19 03:04 PM


Super !! I love this !! hugs, Chris

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Tagore



    

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
17 posted 2003-11-19 03:42 PM



Smiling at this...and you...

You ARE amazing, you know...smile

Love you, lady...

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
18 posted 2003-11-19 04:09 PM


you sneaky thing, you . . .
know I know what you meant before . . .
always amazing me K
*smiling here*
xxoo

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

19 posted 2003-11-19 07:07 PM


offerings of fingernail
notes I've scribbled
corneas
enscripted feathers under lash
        sabled brush
            hiding
              eyes

useries of
pasquinade
on the ledge of
not enough

=============================


you are so lovely me twin...
I love the delicate grace of this...the vocab and presentation...
that its an acrostic as well was a bonus treat..clever, clever is your gifted pen.

enscripted feathers under lash
        sabled brush


this is sooooo you
            

When I'm with you my eyes are so wide ...
you reached right in my head and turned on the light inside
turned on the light in my mind.

David Gray

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
20 posted 2003-11-19 07:58 PM


nicely done Karen....

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
21 posted 2003-11-20 11:41 PM


see?

unbelievable...

may I have this dance?

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
22 posted 2003-11-20 11:45 PM


Simply a thing of beauty


~yeti

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