Despair – writing outside the box – challenge by littlewing

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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2003-07-26 10:56 AM

Despair

“And mighty poets in their misery dead.”
Wm Wordsworth, 1770-1850

Now wouldst’ I write of desolation
A hopeless feel to life’s equation
Might I tear anguish from this heart
To let it bleed, and swift, depart

To sink in midnight’s gloom of shades
To never know a green grass blade
As gray rejection clouds my eyes
Ignoring gold’s pink in mourning skies

I pull depression’s quilt o’er head
To bury any life so filled with dread
Misery? Such a fine disgust,
That blows out fires of love, and trust.

Could despondency ever rule my quill?
I weep to watch the wilt of will.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (07-26-2003 10:57 AM).]

IntoTheFlames
Member

since 2003-06-21

Posts 92
Va, USA

1 posted 2003-07-26 11:01 AM

"I pull depression’s quilt o’er head" the only thing with this is once you put it over you its really hard to get off! Great poem!

~*Summer*~

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

2 posted 2003-07-26 11:17 AM

I think you needed that

See I like that style on you... Good write.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2003-07-26 11:25 AM

wow, you can do it all, can't you? This is great, in a very different sort of way...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2003-07-26 11:28 AM

Love this.

but yanno?

I STILL wanna see the Francis Farmer side of Peggy Sue.

Sigh.

Okay.

correction.

I don't wanna see it. I just want the door you kick down.

autographed.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

5 posted 2003-07-26 11:48 AM

WOW !!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-07-26 02:07 PM

Karilea . . .
excellent!
This is a beautiful write
and yes , you can do it all
even in despair you write beautifully

I weep to watch the wilt of will.

What an amazing line in itself

This made me feel depressed lol
good job
*smile*
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (07-26-2003 02:22 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

7 posted 2003-07-26 02:16 PM

Karilea, this felt like your heart was
breaking, to have to feel this way.
It was great, of course, but made me sad.

Hugs

Ethel

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

8 posted 2003-07-26 03:17 PM

Wow...!!
Eric

PKreturns
Member

since 2003-07-21

Posts 362
New Orleans, LA

9 posted 2003-07-26 03:20 PM

You need to come down into the darkness with me and write more like this...excellent.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2003-07-26 03:22 PM

...AMAZING!!...

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
Has held me in the same embrace~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

11 posted 2003-07-26 04:12 PM

Brava Bella! Just goestashowya! You can write anything and in any style!

Linda

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

12 posted 2003-07-26 06:27 PM

Ahhh Karilea, you write of the darkness well sweet lady.

most enjoyed.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

13 posted 2003-07-26 06:59 PM

Even in darkness you write amazingly.Wish I had an ounce of your talent.
angelblueyes

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

14 posted 2003-07-26 10:27 PM

I pull depression’s quilt o’er head
To bury any life so filled with dread
Misery? Such a fine disgust,
That blows out fires of love, and trust.

Holy smoke, K. This is power packed with my feelings! Been there with an ugly old comforter o'er my head.

Lovin' this rhyme here as well.

Patricia

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

15 posted 2003-07-26 10:56 PM

Excellent....very! *s

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

16 posted 2003-07-27 03:12 AM

"I pull depression’s quilt o’er head
To bury any life so filled with dread
Misery? Such a fine disgust,
That blows out fires of love, and trust."

Karilea...this is wonderful. I love it.
Enjoying this side of you, I am.
Hugs,
~Vicky
"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

17 posted 2003-07-27 03:15 AM

you did well at your stepping out

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

18 posted 2003-07-29 11:21 AM

Though I know you prefer to write from the light, I never doubted that you could pen from the dark..and knew you would leave a spark.

and you KNOW the moth LOVES the alliterations and assonance of this bittersweet beauty.

NO boxes nor fences for you K-girlie...You are a poetess of exception..theres nothing you cant write about.

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

El_Campeador
Senior Member

since 2003-01-29

Posts 761
Ohio, USA

19 posted 2003-07-29 11:47 AM

Karilea, you could write well in any style...

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

Ramon
Junior Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 28

20 posted 2003-07-29 12:22 PM

like the way the poem utilises words from wordsworth era.

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