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Open Poetry #26
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She Walks In Dreams : Duet with Serenity
| Open Poetry #26 |
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She Walks In Dreams : Duet with Serenity |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
She strolled, with eyes downwardly linger, on a path of green through a lick of finger in the down of the wet grasses free there growing she took the path toward salt lick knowing there would be a trough and a head upon a stick that she might want some of --so she braved the flies. To step beyond the warning Beyond the stench of the day’s warming the branches, reaching out to touch her passing footprints within the shadows they’re casting till path of green spreads wide from the shadow flowing into a flowered and bright meadow Rainbows from morning dew still on leaf Drifting down to her in beauty beneath took a leaf unto her tongue and tasted of the universe dripping down her chest in drops The sun cresting over the tree tops Pauses briefly and will not stop As it dries the moisture and warms the skin Brightness to the meadow she is in No shadows reign no wind stirs Just the grass the flowers and her. But moment her pass to fast And she must leave at last Returning to the concrete That’s harsh beneath her feet It’s ugliness cause her eyes pain Like the tears flowing down a city drain prison bars of shadows linger in the charcoal cigarettes as they fall and dim taking beat of city heat and smelting papers taxicabs breathe exhaust and pay the cost of fighting living oh so close |
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| © Copyright 2003 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and I wish they were ALL my words. smile.  thank you, PG |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow you two, this is amazing....I liked the begining the best....so beautiful  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
But the combination...is exquisite. Thank you BOTH! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
This piece made me miss where I grew up..the corn fields, the smell of the farms, hay, the green. Susan |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
she strolled... .... oh so close this is beautiful you two |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful blending of ink and words here. Du-et again soon please. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
terricic penning of phrases brings out the best in the write of two,,, Poetry is a vision that portrays ones impressions.QjQ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity and gloom...a great combination! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You should write under the combined name of Gloomy Serenity!! Very well done!  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
That was simply incredible! I printed this out and am keeping it in my favorites. What a collaboration, simply exquisite work. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I wanted to thank you all for your kindness, but especially YOU prof, for tolerating my madness. You put so much thought and skill into writing that it sometimes deceives the reader with an appearance of "ease." I'm honored that you wrote with me, and I hope we can do this again sometime. It was much fun...and? gloomy serenity makes good sense to me! Hugs you, and many thanks. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You two sang in perfect harmony! You are both masters of descriptive writing! Luvin' hugs to you Professor, & to our Serene One, Linda |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice work you two nice duet hugs |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Man you two! This is awesome! Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Who knew? A match made in heaven! Fabulous. Do it again, okay?  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Sea Almost all the beginning is Serenity’s Much of this is hers, I just simply used a few words to glue hers together Thank you, Sunshine, I am pleased you think it came out so well, Thank you, Susan Caldwell, Interestingly, those parts are mine, Sweet Serenity was being perturbed by the flies Thank you, Brian Sites, Glad you liked Thank you, Enchantress, That is entirely up to others, I do not begin duets. Thank you, QjQ, Thank you, Martie Thank you, Poet deVine, An interesting pen name for collaboration Thank you, passing shadows Thank you, Mysteria, Your praise is very kind. Thank you, Earth Angel, I think of it more as a fugue, Glad you enjoyed. Thank you, vandana, Pleased you enjoyed Thank you, Nightshade, For your words of support Thank you, Larry C Not sure heaven was the proper placement, But pleased you liked it. Gloom |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
a good contrast of your writing styles and thoughts... I liked these lines the most: No shadows reign no wind stirs Just the grass the flowers and her. very beautiful M |
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