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Open Poetry #20
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discovering flesh
| Open Poetry #20 |
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discovering flesh |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore 
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I'm not the plastic bag you take out to throw away licked bones I'm not the balloon you let go of in glee, after your hands get tired of holding on to me I'm not your teddy bear that you chuck aside once you grow up and play with the "sophisticated" I saw you in the mirror It wasn't pretty Take advantage of my geniality and you'll turn me into a cringing mimosa or a raging bulldog Please, don't |
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| © Copyright 2002 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
"a cringing mimosa" I like that line. . . and I like the way that you've used these words to show the finding of it all. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
feeling a little discarded faterider? Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like this...James |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (big hugggsssssss) Oh Heng, I too hope this never happens to you, sweet friend, no one should ever be taken advantage of in any kind of love! (sigh) This is well-said, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Heng, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I don't know who this was directed towards but I can't see how they couldn't get the message. I wouldn't want to trap one of these "a cringing mimosa" I don't think it would be pleasant. Some very nice descriptions by example in this piece! |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
thanks John, i'm happy about the cringing mimosa too.. Kethry, discarded, no..exploited, yes..i felt that trying to be nice wasn't worth it thanks James Noah, this did happen to me but as a favourite saying goes, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stonger"...i live by that saying..  Eric, this was directed towards the kids i tutored but i don't think i am going to show it to them...live and let live... thank you, i'm trying to work on imagery..someday, i'll improve..heeheethanks all for reading  |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
ooooh, ooooh, oooh! Fantastically done, faterider! You did it, no need to get into the adult genre to remember the importance of a 'real' being, not something disposable, consumable. Excellent! I wanna try one! I hope it won't look like I was unduly influenced by yours to make others think I'm a copier...plagiarist...I hate trying that word. I'm such a good speller, but that words eludes me big time! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Bravo! Hugs to the cringing mimosa. What an image! I agree, leave it here, don't show it to those ungrateful little wretches! Just kidding of course, maybe show and tell time. but next year would be soon enough. Let them mature a bit, and go have some fun. You've earned a vacation. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
especially well done - this can cover many areas of inter-personal relationships. very nice indeed. Chris |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
VAS, thanks for the visit on my thread...thanks for the triple "oohs".anyway, will be waiting for your write...i will be away from passions in Jun, so leave me a note or a link on this thread so that i won't miss your poem...thanks muchly... Kacy, thanks for the hugs to the mimosa in me..  oh yes, i will be going for a 3-week vacation in June..time for me to grow up a little(but i'll still have the fun).. thanks Chris for reading...i'm glad your mind wandered off in so many directions..i only thought about writing about sadly-neglected moi...heehee thanks all.. [This message has been edited by faterider (05-27-2002 01:37 PM).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Heavy fr..heavy...if it wasn't 2.30am I'd crit this for you...if I have time soon, and I remember  I'll do so...Suffice to say - the honesty, and the feeling, I like - and can relate to.. good job you..  K |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I wonder why people use other people, when we're all we've got, especially love....nice piece here FR |
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ParisGrl Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610 |
FateRider, I am sorry that you feel that way.....very nice descriptions in your poem. ~Laura~ |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
hmm...just chking in after a bit of a 'vacation' from pip...lol found this one.. 'tis a very interesting write my friend...nicely done.. i must say though..the thought patterns of so many different human minds is strange; in that conversation with eagleone, 'discovering flesh' was so very different than this! lol all the same..much enjoyed..glad to have stumbled upon this hugs, g ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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