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Open Poetry #20
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Her Seven Veils
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Her Seven Veils |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Her Seven Veils He wondered how she might step at all With so many veils that trimmed her tall; Yet shift with grace she seemed to do As she sauntered into view Now its been said that some veils hold A treasure behind their silks of gold And some scant veils are little more Than entry ways men would murder for It seems a challenge hides behind veils Nuances of how a person’s mind sails Each veil a layer beyond whom we would know And this is what intrigued the stranger so. He looked through her to see which veil He might discard before she paled Borneo green veiled her eyes So first her trust he would realize He spoke to her then, soft, and low She leaned a bit forward, his words to know Then a flick undraped her Neptune ice blue The ground felt the silk, but still more to do Tibetan sun red flamed about her face She turned quickly yet her wrist he embraced For he would look past her soiled deeds Finding truth through the honesty of her needs She tried to escape, hide behind her Black veils She needed no man to tip her scales But with gentlest touch he reached in kind Slowly removing terror from her mind Treasured gold silk hung around her sleeve As he extracted bits o’er which she grieved For he would know the sheer depth of her As she clung to this veil ever sure He enticed her to come to join his walk He touched no more, he merely talked The woods would hold their whispers close The next move would be one she chose She turned to him and the Borneo green Veiled again her eyes, or so it seemed He gasped and saw that the Neptune ice blue Veil had come back into full view He wondered if the Tibetan sun red Would again enflame around her head Then she turned, and sat upon the grass Whispering, “Come, I’ll share my past.” So beneath the trees they lingered there She such a vision, he would not dare To interject but a breath, or two As she spoke softly, he felt night’s dew. Her words were of the silks she wore Of the veils that covered her, and more She allowed that her very depths would show For a pale ivory veil glistened just so Time slow passed, she had spent her words On this man’s heart so that he heard More than all the veils could hide, And still, he remained there by her side. Then time stood still, she spoke no more words Yet around her shape, her veils, reassured, Had drifted from her lithe, lean form Till but one veil left to keep her warm.  Draped round her soul, this veil seemed aching Deep iris sheltered a soul from breaking She seemed beggared by lost chance of fate She waited for something, was he too late? ‘Tis said that purple is the color royal Here her silk shifted, her last veil loyal For he would not remove from her All that held her fragility sure Although he could not help but feel The satin behind her veil surreal He reached out his hand, to know her skin Then she was gone, and the air was thin. Now over his mind, his own heart aching He knew why her shimmer had left him quaking If one more time he could capture a dream, He would wish to see eyes of Borneo green [This message has been edited by Sunshine (05-18-2002 03:23 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
The epic romance unveiled in your words of golden silks. ThisDiamond |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, This is a keeper, wonderful idea and presentation. Love  Sy |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Sunshine....this has so much within, so many thoughts come to mind... The lady, unsure of him, of herserlf... afraid to reveal...yet finding....over time and trust....she could reveal....and was still treasured by him....even though he knew more of her....things she hid from view and was afraid to share... Am I close? Beautiful poem...very much so.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
My, oh my, Karilea! I have have read this twice now and I'm headed back for yet another read before I pop it into my library. This is a treasure indeed... You capture the reader in the opening stanza... knowing full well they will not want to let go until the story has been told. Even now the visions still dance in my mind. Magnificent & Enchanting. ~Morning Hugs~ |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  BRAVO!!! Oh Sunshine, this is one of my favorites of yours to date, sweet friend, I'm adding this to my library now! (sigh) I too saw this as some story of secrecy that she hides from him and the failure to comply all her troubles publicly with the lack of courage and loss of words! (big hugggsssss) I was curious reading this if each of the veils represent some kind of emotion or trait, like indigo betrayal or along that line. This is absolutely breathtaking, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Karilea, this had such extensive presentation. It reaches into so many areas. Very well done dear Sunny One!! Like a red brick, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
K, this is some very clever and unique writing... orignal and fresh.., written on a theme we dont see over done in poetry.. the rhyme and imagery are poetry in motion but the thing that left the impress on me was the employ of the theme of the 7 veils and the use of the colors to create this. Very cool....Id love to know where you got the inspire for this...if thy muse cares to share. How long can a girl be haunted by you ... |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
WOW....Amazing Lauren~ I would rather have one breath of his hair, |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautifully written Karilea ... a romance, descriptively penned through the colorful veil of your words. Just lovely. Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now you see what a little picture does? Your poem is absolutely beautiful by the way, a keeper and a "printer" (my new term for it going into the book here, but I tell you, the picture was like the cherry on the top of the best darn chocolate sundae I have seen in a long time. (big grins  here) |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Tis said that purple is the color royal Here her silk shifted, her last veil loyal For he would not remove from her All that held her fragility sure The word "masterpiece" comes to mind here, Karilea...and I agree with Sharon about the photo...it definitely adds to the poem...which is actually more than strong enough to stand on its own.... but the photo...is the icing on the cake! Did you take that photo, Karilea? Its exotically beautiful.... hmmm......or is that a photo of you?  ~satin veiled hugsLyra |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice writing...James |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Auntie Kari this is lovely, really excellent movement within the poem, its flow through the colours was superb. Since you didn’t use the words I’ve taken them back and turned them into one of my own. However I can see why you didn’t need my assistance this is breathtaking in its entirity well written and beautifully presented   Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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elfin_tigress Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101Someplace |
Oh, Sunshine, this is wonderful! I think each of us has some of both characters in us. What a wonderful story, and even more wonderful in a poem! Thank you. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This writing is as delicate as the veils that covered her. Beautiful, sunshiny one  I met a girl with seven veils And used a line that never fails. I tried to make her mine and yet I only got a veiled threat!  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea This is wonderous, all!! Fantastic and enchanting poetry, my friend. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Kari, you have painted a masterpeice of words. This is a keeper for sure. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This delicate masterpiece enchanted me from first word to last... it's absolutely superb! *S* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you, my fine poet friends. Marsha threw me an idea I could not resist, and I do believe that for me, it's a Keeper! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms sunshine there is much eros in veils and how they are danced very much enjoyed lady |
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