Open Poetry #25 |
Hearts On A String |
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Hearts On A String She had her tools, oh she did, an easy southern way and the angel face, a shape that haunted men's eyes and oh yes a beautiful set of hearts, all strung together on a string. She must have had them all or so I think, mine for sure and too my best friend, yes a goner before I knew he'd been collected, or I might have warned the hapless guy but it didn't matter. Like I said, she got them all in her own sweet time, old, young, in-between, single, married guys the easiest of course. And she kept them all up, spinning like a juggler's plates til she decided it was time to let one fall, delectibly shattered into sharp tiny bits. It started young, seventeen, a baby boy, adopted and seventeen himself when I knew her, though she of course never knew him. Before that a cousin, an uncle too, and at thirty-four collecting all her hearts on a string, the sweetest kind of revenge. [This message has been edited by Ratleader (03-30-2003 11:21 AM).] |
||
© Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Hearts dangling.....I do so love the way you presented this.....I hope it's not a "true" story.....heart hugsssss... Lauren~ I close my eyes and there in the shadows I see your light |
||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
From Austin....had the sweetest accent, and the sweetest....collection.... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Ratleader - Once I knew of a southern belle's ways, and have never forgotten them. Like the way you presented this... BC |
||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Nor have I, Bill, nor have I..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Love the way you wrote this, your words presented just like hearts on a string. Jason |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
RatLeader~ I found this fascinating~ Just kept stringing me along~ Great word-imagery, poet~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I think on this one, I shall just leave my signature as a reply if you don't mind. If time were taken from the heart of man then we would have no way to measure the pain of love |
||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
cool write! |
||
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Dagnabbit! The concept of this boggles. (The structure, not the content. lol) Hard enough to just write something. |
||
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Rat - nice job here - sounds like a black widow . . . the form is amazing - the poem I mean lol . . . xxoo |
||
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Ed...you have a way of telling stories through your lines. Always much more between the lines than the words themselves contain...nice |
||
SilentFreija Junior Member
since 2003-03-30
Posts 37 |
That was a great poem but I don't think I liked how you only had a couple of words on each line, I just have a weird thing...but keep up the good work. =] Where you look for broken hearts...you'll find me... |
||
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Ratleader - I really enjoyed this and the way it dangled down the page. Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...I'm glad you survived to become a poet! |
||
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hi Ed.... I love this poem about the Southern belle with the angel face....... and I also like the hearts dangling down the page, too. Hugs, Ethel |
||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Can't talk to everyone individually here, but I want to thank every single person who answered this little admission of my own fallibility. ...and maybe add that of course there's a worse error -- NOT letting your heart be "collected" when you meet that perfect match..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
"Women,can't live with them..pass the beer nuts" ~ Norm from Cheers |
||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hearts on a string huh. Very interesting. James |
||
KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
wow...I know someone like that LOL Very visual and I enjoyed it! Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
It works both ways. *S* I have a poem where I was "the brand new star of your collection, one more trophy on your shelf"... but as you said, the greater tragedy is being so concerned with protecting your heart from dangling that you never give it a chance to be embraced. *S* I like this very much... and the presentation is absolutely perfect! *S* |
||
snoduck Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99Selah, WA |
I'd like to start off by thanking you for replying to my poem "Queen of Hearts" although your point of view is different it is indeed very similar to my poem. To make a long story short, I'm a 16 year old girl, and my best friend, also 16, is the heart of my poem. I hate watching her destroy innocent boys. Same with your poem. I have watched that girl meet great guys that would treat her with the upmost respect, while I always end up with the jerks that find me no more useful than to get laid. I hope for your sake and mine that people just stop playing games. Thanks again for the reply, and I will most definitly be looking for more of your work. -Erica- |
||
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
just thought I needed to read this one to gain more understanding of the new poem you posted. Thanks for the link M |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |