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Dark Poetry #3
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Diastonene I -- The Lady Watches Bees
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Diastonene I -- The Lady Watches Bees |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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I started this 12-part poem in April, but never came close to finishing it. I used to send it out to friends -- except for Lori, I didn't get much input on it, and one person even said he'd rather see it in prose format, so that sort of killed my enthusiasm for the project I was undertaking. It's a 12-parter based on a dream I had. The dream is long since extinguished in my mind, but at least I wrote down copious notes while the colors were still fresh and sea-breezy. Whatever that means. So, here's part I. If you like it, I might post more. Maybe I'll do one a week for twelve weeks? A Dark exclusive? Sure. Mike 1. The Lady Watches Bees Lady Diastonene watches bees in the April latticework. Since a girl, their murmered song fills her up with sky. Grasp of leaves, the fall long back, the sun a swimming light. Through wintertime, the burning white upon her face, her eyes. Now color blooms across the trees, across the yard and gate. Oak tree rough, the ridged bark holds their shining face. In eager buzz, shadows flit against the winter screen. Wiry yarn, small fired suns full of song and sweet. She steps with hope to apple reach fallen by a tree. Runs back in the dusty house before golden darts can sting. |
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| © Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
wow that was some dream. If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Finally!!!! Baby, even if you never finish it, this will forever be my favourite. Just how it moves, the pensive, held-back feeling... The images I get are Edward Gorey-esque, only with tons more dark.  I love you love you love you, baby. Y'd better eventually finish this! I'll hold the finishing of Kissably on ransom 'till you do.  Nah, don't think I have control over that. Damn. i'll be waiting for you |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
squirrel dude, I don't know why anyone would think this would benefit from being written as prose. 'Course I don't really know what prose actually is, but nonetheless, this seems poetry to me. I'll wait for others, this tasted fine. ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". ~wranx~ [This message has been edited by wranx (08-19-2002 01:54 PM).] |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
and this has twelve parts?!? kinda like waiting for LotR2&3 yes yes post them all! lots of light in this, as in the dreamer brian I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I'll post them all once I write them all. Basically, I have parts 1 through 5 completely done, then fragments until 12, which is also completely done. Oops... I'm glad you're all enjoying these words. Mike As patterns seem to form |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
These are so good....I love them. DeaDiAmore |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you're enjoyin', DDA. |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Yay!  It all makes so much sense now!! Thank you for posting these!! I cant wait to read from 8 to the last!~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
To 2. The Lord Checks the Doors /pip/Forum46/HTML/002435.html |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks for reading, Dragon Mistress. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Bumping these too Mikey! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
seems I've some MAJOR catchin up to do (and I do hold you just as responsible as Ed!  )Good to read you again me Mikey! ~the long lost D Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I'd been meaning to read this since I first saw the titles in your post history. Guess now's as good a time as any. At any rate, yes, I did love this poem. The imagery is vivid and powerful while remaining equally twisted and outworldly to give it the dreamlike feel. I imagine even if you hadn't told us this was a dream, it would still be quite evident. You remembered it like a dream is remembered, too, and that's the unique part... piece by piece, small image by small image, a little history for the character, and then a brief action. This style, I really like... think I'll go read the next one sometime soon. Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Mikey - I have been reading them - I will reply when I am done heh . . . |
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