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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-06-22 12:06 PM


This is a repost from Open 21, where it died a much-ignored death. Let's try again...

Final rain
I remember the salty taste of your fingertips
brushing my lips in the rain.
Your words were lightning upon my thundered form.

The way your eyes burned urgency into my soul
laying your claim --
how completely and securely you bound me in love's rapture.

Watch the pines catch the rain in their green arms.
I wish I could hold onto you in mine.

Send me a sign, for you are gone and I have become a desert
parched and aching for your kiss to awaken my lips
with the sweet waters of your mouth.

My Joshua arms raise up high to try to find you in the sky.
Wondering where in the sun's light you chose to die.

Unfold your wings, my angel and sweep me away like before
when I once mattered more than a million freedoms --I need you.

Let me drink your final rain in drizzle from your wings.
Let me hear you say your words in notes of old somethings.
Let me follow you into the autumn of the ground.
Let me find the way to play the music of your sound.

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2002-06-22 12:14 PM


Bravo! gents
I am going to try to determine who is who in this, right or wrong it'll be fun.

I have myself, come to the conclusion, that if it absolutely, positively needs to be read?...Post it in Dark

I also have a piece dying a slow and agonizing death 'mongst the butterflies and puppies.

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-06-22 12:17 PM


Some of the butterflies in open are amazing, though. There's some great talent on that forum. It's just sooo huge, that it's easy to get lost in all the flappin' and yappin'. I should trademark that.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
3 posted 2002-06-22 12:24 PM


Wranx... if you call me a gent one more time, I'm going to have to strangle you! I am female- born so with no plans of changing! & FYI, I love the male species exclusively..

end of message, bye-bye, see you later...

*chuckles*
~Tier

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2002-06-22 12:38 PM


Yikes, I..uh..well...Jeez. I'm new here see, and..I'm just getting to know everyone, and well, basically I'm just a moron.

I do like your posts though, Ms.

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
5 posted 2003-06-21 11:18 PM


this even died a much-ignored death again I came across this and thought it could use a breath of life lol be scared very scared I know cpr errr nm it's the painkillers I'm taking talking...enjoyed obviously I want 2 cry now cos well I dunno cos I can

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2003-06-21 11:26 PM




TWO MORE that I miss...

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2003-06-22 12:52 PM


Yes, I've missed both of these folks.

And this was in "Open"?

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-06-22 12:53 PM


Good God this is beauty . . .  
xxoo

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2003-06-22 01:05 AM


So where are they? MIKEY!!!!!!!!!
a_hollowman
Junior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 30
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
10 posted 2003-06-22 02:34 AM


Gentle afternoon to all! This piece, I must confess, tore into my inner spirit with a flare of brilliance. bsquirrel, it's great to finally see you post something in Dark Poetry #3 again. I've heard much about your talent, from Local Parasite, who a propos is a connaissance of mine who introduced me to piptalk. Your finesse in sense and visual description exceeds you in reputation, and this piece distills no exception from that.
  As for Tiersdin, your part in this is undefined to me, although I am assuaged to believe that you certainly helped... define this poem. The work you two collaborated to provide is excellent, and I applaud your efforts.
*Clap, clap, clap!*


                - a_hollowman

P.S. Pardon my french, thanks!

Dragon Mistress
Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289
Washington, USA.
11 posted 2003-06-27 04:18 PM


*wipes away a tear* Oh wow.  I new it had been way too long since I've read your work.  This one literally brought a tear to my eyes.  Beautiful...Oh wow.  What more can I say than that?!
I hope all is well outside of the poetry world!
Tanya

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
12 posted 2003-06-27 07:03 PM


brillant as always, bsquirrel, brillant...this pooem is...my words can't do justice to the feeling this poem gave me...
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
13 posted 2003-06-27 07:24 PM


It's pretty cool to see this poem come up again. Thanks everyone for the nice comments.  In all honesty, this is the one piece that Mikey & I blended together so well on this project, it was hard for a reader to discern who was who. That's what was so special about it.

Final rain

(It's hard to say which of us wrote these, I'll let Mikey discern).

I remember the salty taste of your fingertips
brushing my lips in the rain.

Your words were lightning upon my thundered form.

Tiersdin
The way your eyes burned urgency into my soul
laying your claim --
how completely and securely you bound me in love's rapture.

Mikey:
Watch the pines catch the rain in their green arms.
I wish I could hold onto you in mine.

Tiersdin:
Send me a sign, for you are gone and I have become a desert
parched and aching for your kiss to awaken my lips
with the sweet waters of your mouth.

Mikey:
My Joshua arms raise up high to try to find you in the sky.
Wondering where in the sun's light you chose to die.

Tiersdin:
Unfold your wings, my angel and sweep me away like before
when I once mattered more than a million freedoms --I need you.

Mikey:
Let me drink your final rain in drizzle from your wings.
Let me hear you say your words in notes of old somethings.
Let me follow you into the autumn of the ground.
Let me find the way to play the music of your sound.


Again,
thanks all...

~Tier

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
14 posted 2003-06-28 03:12 AM


This is very beautiful...
Ethel

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